S o, I'm here to report a betrayal.
A dear friend, one I've loved for years, recently stabbed me in the back.
After all these years of (impatiently) awaiting its arrival, looking hot (AKA. a little slutty) and drinking copiously to its honor, the New Year has let me down, with 2013 playing a fickle little game by bitch-slapping me with a nasty cold the fourth day in.
So now I get to play catch-up. Which means this column's quick 'n' dirty, but still satisfying. Good in all the right places, all weekend long. We'll see if we can fit it all in ....
OK, I'm done.
But seriously, this town's glad you folks are back.
Especially those venues -- like the Absinthe House -- that need those fine asses bumpin' and grindin' each weekend.
It's even had its lights pimped out, ready to rock your socks off with new LED lighting as you party hard at their Saturday night House Party.
Info: Saturday House Party at Absinthe House, 1109 Walnut Street.
Down the road, the Walrus has a few 2013 perks of its own. After all, the new year isn't PMS-ing on everyone.
First, they've got their January mixtape ready for you to pick up on your way to the dance floor, or online to download. Just go to boulderwalrus.com.
More important, they've decided to amp up their weekend allure. Now, it's the triple threat: dancing, drinking and dining.
Well, dining may be a bit .... generous. Let's say drunkenly pig out. Because this year, they've got Shaggy's "famous" poutine -- gravy fries -- on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays.
Info: Walrus Saloon now offering food, 1911 11th St.
An Upslope classic
Course, there's plenty of shenanigans to be had away from this downtown block. Take Upslope Brewing. They've got a re-release this Friday -- the Foreign Style Stout -- that's been around the block a few times but still has plenty to offer.
The Foreign Style Stout -- Upslope's first anniversary beer in 2009 -- is back, refreshed from its days as the first canned limited release in 2012. A smooth, savory flavor with "a touch of roast" and "hint of bitterness," thanks to their Patagonian hops, it's a brew to indulge in this year.
Info: Upslope Brewing's re-release of the Foreign Style Stout, 2 p.m. on Friday, 1501 Lee Hill Road No. 20.
Basketball and beer
Last but not least, you Buffs need to dust off that school pride of yours and get to cheering for your basketball team.
West End Tavern's going to help. Their shuttle service to CU games is renewed, taking you to the UCLA game this weekend. And with drink specials before and after the game, it's a safe ride rife with libations.
Info: Catch the Ride from the West End Tavern this Saturday at noon for the UCLA game, 926 Pearl Street.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh, email@example.com