L ucky for you, Halloween is the one time where Sunday's walk of shame can work in your favor.

Just pretend it's a costume.

Although Halloween brings out the embarrassing spirits in most of us, there is no costume that makes you invisible.

At least attempt at acting appropriately.

On Saturday, you for sure should bust out sexy dance moves in a ridiculous costume -- like a grandma or a banana. And do scare small children who come to your door (come on, it's Halloween, people).

And do look as obnoxious as you possibly can.

But don't...

1 Don't give out healthy treats

Yes, we're in a healthy city, and yes sugar is bad for us. Blah, blah, blah. A pillowcase full of apples, raisins, cranberries and crackers is just a damn waste of a holiday. Let those kids get buzzed on chocolate and food dye.

2 Don't skip the undergarments

When toilet-papering yourself in that mummy getup, might I recommend starting with undergarments? If it snows or rains, well, you're screwed. And unless you are dressed as "Britney Spears Exiting a Limo," try to remember undies.

3 Don't bob for apples in booze

At the Halloween party, bobbing for apples in a tub of Everclear might sound like a bright idea, but it's not. Trust me. True, it may kill a slobbery bowl of germs, but no emergency trips to the hospital are necessary this weekend.

4 No smashing pumpkins

The fact that the holiday is over on Sunday is no excuse to bludgeon your neighbor's jack-o-lantern in the dark. Just because you are drunk doesn't mean we can't see you.

5 Ain't no misbehavin'

Wearing a Bill Clinton mask doesn't mean you can fondle brunettes. A sexy cop uniform doesn't mean you can break the law -- and your friend's angel costume won't get you out of jail. Wear pride with that mask. Ha! OK, at least a little class.