christy fantz
Christy Fantz

S tarting today (through Nov. 10), Denver Arts Week will hail the city's diverse culture and creativity with some great events. Go get artsy.

Night at the Museums

If you've never been to a museum in Denver, this is your ticket. Saturday night, nearly all of the city's big museums (14 of 'em) are open and totally free on Saturday between 5-10 p.m. (Denver Art Museum, Denver Museum of Nature & Science and the Denver Zoo, among others).

The best part of this evening is that there will be free shuttles to cart your lazy ass to various stops so you can take in as many sights as possible.

Info: denver.org

First Friday

This is nothing new, but since you're crashing Denver museum parties like a bunch of dirty pirates, you may as well head stop over at Santa Fe's Art District (or really, any art district in Denver) and check out local shops, work and meet the artists. Many galleries provide beer and wine with a donation.

Info: artdistrictonsantafe.com

Denver's On Stage

I mean, it's no "The Nightman Cometh" (Charlie's rock opera in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"), but Denver's performing arts community -- comedy, improv, dance, music, drama -- will make you leap for joy (after I pinch that sweet ass).

During Arts Week, many joints will offer discounted tickets -- from the Denver Performing Arts Complex to neighborhood theaters. Check out the goods online -- some offer behind-the-scenes workshops.

Info: denver.com/arts

Starz Denver Film Festival

This famous fest -- packed with film premieres, panels, workshops, seminars, guest actors and directors -- is turning 35 this year. (Old bitch.) Get your ass on the red carpet and strut your stuff like you're in Hollywood. A far more attractive Hollywood. Los Angelenos, we're way hotter than you.

Info: denverfilm.org

Beer and boards

What goes better with a snowboard?

Weed! Um. I mean, beer.

Mix the brew and boards this weekend at the Colorado Ski & Snowboard Expo and The Rocky Mountain Brew Fest at the Colorado Convention Center, 700 14th St., Denver.

The expo will offer: discount lodging, lessons, lift tickets and season passes -- AND -- previous-season gear at up to 75 percent off.

For fun, you can slackline, scale the climbing wall and watch demonstrations -- all that crazy shit you kids do these days. I'll be crocheting my adult diaper.

Hours: Friday noon-10 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m.-8 p.m. and Sunday 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; skisnowboardexpo.com; $10-$12.

Beer! The Rocky Mountain Brew Fest is pairing with the expo, so you need tickets to both. However, unlike Denver's GABF, you don't have to sell your merkin to gain access. The fest offers four three-hour sessions where connoisseurs can sample dozens of local handcrafted suds.

Sessions: Friday 6-9 p.m., Saturday 1-4 p.m. and 5-8 p.m., Sunday 2-5 p.m.; bewisports.com/expos/denver/brew-fest; $12-$15.