I want to try some weird sex thing on my girlfriend but I'm afraid she'll be offended. How do I go about this in a tactful way?
You would leave us hanging.
Is it the shocker? If so, the point is to "shock," so just mold those digits and ram 'em in.
If you think she'll be offended, she probably will. Unless she's only accustomed to your vanilla missionary, then tossing her salad isn't that offbeat. (Silly you and your starfish nightcap.)
Sit the girl down and talk birds and bees. Ask her if she enjoys your modest fare. Table the bed for discussion. (Literally and figuratively. Get freaky in the kitchen.) Discuss your current practices from both perspectives and question new techniques.
After the merriment of musings, throw in your wild wombat idea. If she starts throwing shit at you, well, you were kidding, right? (Sick pervert.) Guess you'll have to find another way to eat meatballs out of her butt crack. (I'll assume that's your "weird sex thing.")
Just talk to her like an adult watch the magic of grown-up discussions unfold.
This girl I started dating is gorgeous, fun and funny. But, she smells like bad body odor. We've been dating for about a month and I don't think she wears deodorant, which is really starting to turn me off. I want to continue dating her, but don't know how to handle this situation. Girls are so dang sensitive.
—Clean boyHe who smelt it, dealt it:
You, Clean Boy, get a treat. Girls are sensitive. Ergo, I would highly recommend not telling her yourself, because we're scrappy too. You may get a fist to that premature mustache.
Body scent is an extremely sensitive subject for girls, just as is the size of your dude piece. Girls are stereotypically pigeonholed as flowers. We're pretty. We smell like dewberries and poop Yankee candles. We're softer than a puppy's ear and emit scents that boys want to bottle up and explode all over.
Keep in mind that there is a chance she has a clinical problem, so here's a few suggestions:
Take up smoking. A surefire way to destroy your sense of smell and taste.
Shove a bundle of fresh herbs up your nostrils.
Talk to her friends — probably your safest bet. Do not (<— read that again) buy her a stick of deodorant, unless you want her to gift you an extra-small jockstrap. Remember to be equally sensitive to her friends so they also won't punch you in your four whiskers.
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