Dear Christy,

My boyfriend walks all over me. So does his friends, my friends and pretty much everyone in general. How can I stand up for myself without yelling at everyone? I don't like conflict.


Dirty rug:

I think that you should scream at everyone, you damned pushover. (There's dogshit all over your back.) Quit taking abuse, or I will abuse you. (Heeeeeey girl.)

Once upon three livers ago, I was the ringleader of that same parade. People would constantly tell me I was too nice, so I'd naturally respond with, "I'm sorry."

Too eager to please? Don't fancy smashing people's feelings? Are you an easy target for the sarcasm shower? Does "I'm sorry" awkwardly spray out of your whiskey hole like pee after sex?

Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz

That charade gets moldy real quick. (Wait 'til the panic attacks park it on your couch and then never leave.)

You don't have to change your person, you just have to gain a tighter grip on your soft soul. Wind that bitch up, feed it some steroids and tell it to punch back when attacked. Stand your ground. It's time for people to please you. (That means your furry friend downstairs too. Hear that, mean ol' boyfriend? Tongue push-up time.)


Dear Christy,

I recently came out of the closet and started dating. Most of my inner circle, and society, is extremely supportive, but my church isn't. I feel condemned, an outcast. I still love the church community and follow most of their beliefs, I am still the same person, but now I'm being treated like Mary Magdalene or something. Should I just lose my faith?


—Miss Judas

Miss Jesus:

You said it first: You're still the same person. Your friends, family and society didn't betray you, so why does your church have special powers? Do not let its discrimination seep into your heart. We are fragile creatures and bigotry will only tear that fat muscle, no matter how strong we are.

If your faith is important, hang on to it. But seek out a different church or community where you can be you. Homosexuality has caused rupture in religion in recent decades, so there are branches of communities out there who preach all-inclusive love, just as their savior did. If Jesus could wash the feet of a prostitute, then why won't he let gay people dine at his table? He would. It's the community interpreting outdated teachings.

Be the rainbow (aw) of love for a new community and don't feel repressed by backwards morals. You did nothing to deserve this. Rise above the ignorance.

This topic sits close to my heart with two gay siblings. I'll fight the world for them to the death. With words, of course.

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