For the past three weeks, I've been obsessing about this 5K I'm running. Not only is it my first, but a good deal of my previous running experience involves chasing stuff the wind's blown out of my hands.
I'm not an athlete — in second grade I was kicked off the soccer team because I'd basically decided the goalie position was the perfect vantage point from which to take in the game.
"WHOA! That one was comin' in hot, guys! Maybe stop them before they get this close to the goal."
Despite all the daydreaming I do about being an Amazon woman — lifting pickup trucks off kittens, running miles barefoot across pokey beach rocks, swimming so fast I produce a wave that crashes against the side of the pool and ruins nearby beers — the fact is I've never been all that interested in the work required to become Wonder Woman.
So all this obsessing I've been doing lately about the upcoming 5K hasn't involved much in the way of training, unfortunately.
See, first I had to make sure I had all the stuff I needed to run. I know some people say the only thing necessary for running is to move one's feet a little faster, but I don't see it that way. I need to make sure my ankle socks dip perfectly under my ankles or I'll be too distracted by the way they visually fight with the lines of the shoe.
What about sunglasses? They might bounce around the face in a momentum-reducing manner, so perhaps a visor is the way to go. But then there are the twin problems of color and whether I wear it straight on, like a serious runner, or off to the side at a jaunty angle as if to say, "Hey, let's have fun with this thing."
I don't know, I really don't know.
You're allowed to bring your dog to the race, so I've spent hours researching breeds, checking out shelters, discussing the best foods, and coming up with a variety of daily exercise regimens for the dog I still do not have.
There's word it will snow the day of the run, so I've laid out several potential outfits and have yet to decide how to combine long pants with a running skirt. And what happens if the snow stops, and the sun breaks through the clouds? Will there be a place I can purchase tear-away pants?
I've also been interested in where we're going to brunch after the run, whether or not I'll be taking a shower that morning, and how best to style my hair so it's both cute and functional.
There's so much to hash out still and the race is soon, so I'm thinking about chucking all these silly worries and handing my bedazzled bib to someone else who's better prepared.
I have a feeling that won't go over well with the rest of my running team, but it's not like this is a relay.