If I have to take these shoes off one more damn time...

I'm an asshole of a shopping partner.

I don't shop with chums. I know what I want (skirts, knee socks and the occasional flask). I'm in and out. My liver frowns upon monopolizing happy hour(s) on a day off. No time to lollygag.

So naturally, when I'm in search of a specific gem, I need to mentally prepare myself for a day of stripping, Chucks on and off 12 times, static hair from changing shirts and a ridiculous black and denim mass jumbled on the dressing room floor.

Ugh. And hanging that mess back up. (Do it, ladies. I've worked retail. Don't be that bitch.)

Now, if only more than five percent of the fashion world could take a swig of the 21st century...

In the past few years, technology has given birth to virtual dressing rooms.

Some use simulated models -- like H&M -- where users customize the figure to specific measurements. Some dress you via Web cam -- like J.C. Penney -- by moving the clothes over your body and sizing them to fit. Even Macy's (in New York) has a Magic Fitting Room where shoppers use an iPad and a touch-screen mirror.

(Come on Nordstrom, get with the program.)

The coolest one is by Cisco Systems. It's you on the big screen, via video technology, form fitting your wears in every angle to your exact size.


Below are cool technology advancements to look for in the shopping future:

1 Mirror, mirror on the wall

Many virtual dressing rooms have "smart" mirrors and 3-D body scanners. (You know, kind of like getting eye-fucked by a TSA agent.) They scan your body and voil -- you can start trying clothes on without taking any off. Some high-end stores already use this technology, so hurry up the rest of you!

Shopping in the future is going to be awesome. We want it now.
Shopping in the future is going to be awesome. We want it now. (MorgueFile)

2 Checking out

Oh dear. Is that an employee or a robot? Robots are neat, although dirty bastard job eliminators. You know those self-checkout lines at Safeway? Some retail stores have begun this convenience. Other cool technology allows a smartphone to pay for the purchase. Damn, that phone is so smart, he's your new credit card.

3 Custom made

Some stores, like Nike, allow you to custom design your purchase. Many stores are moving forward with this trend. Imagine putting that perfect dress that lived in your head for a decade, on your body. Calm down, it's a few years off. (Like you're going anywhere.)

4 QR codes

In Japan (of course), certain buildings have QR codes (quick response) outside that smartphones can read to show the inside happenings of the building. QR codes? You know those funny-looking matrix barcode thingies that we often put in the paper? Get with it, kids. It's 2011.

5 Change your mind?

Finding the right size jeans is the biggest pain in the ass. Some fitting rooms have interactive technology where the customer can use a touch-screen in the room to check the store for available sizes and styles. All you do is type in what you need and the salesperson will go fetch. Now go fetch me a virtual dressing room.