Dear Christy,

I grew up in a Christian family, but I'm an agnostic now. My girlfriend of six months wants me to go to Easter Mass with her and her parents. She doesn't go to church every Sunday, but religion is really important to her. I am so over the whole organized religion thing, I'm spiritual, but churches make me panic. I really don't want to go, but she said this is a really important part of our relationship and if I don't go then she needs to think seriously about our future. What should I do?

christy fantz
Christy Fantz

--Excommunicated

 

Jesus loves you:

Bellum sacrum, Batfriends.

(Religious wars, laymen, not bedazzled scrotums. Although that would be neat to see.)

This age-old clash can, and does, cause unnecessary discord from couples, to communities, to governments, to nations.

Don't let your love for your special sweetheart become thwarted by a difference in beliefs.

It seems your girlfriend hasn't interrupted much of your Sunday Blackout Drunk Days by asking you to go to church each week. So, one hour on one Sunday of one year isn't that painful a task. Try shaking the panic and plop your posterior on the church lady. I mean pew.

 

But before you commit, clearly state your religion stance, as it stands. A Mass pledge from you could form a false future for her (as she's scribing your kids' confirmation names in the family bible). If you care for her, then you know religion is important to her.

And if you do believe in that bloke in the cloud,* just remember, you're an agnostic, not an atheist. Maybe you'll find her house of worship far surpasses your childhood trysts with the divine.

Now go bedazzle your scrotum and report back to us.

*My Welsh pal Diamond Dave's brilliant moniker for God.

 

Dear Christy,

My partner and I are so happy that Colorado is finally legalizing civil unions. However, it's only a jumping point. We still won't have the same rights as a heterosexual union. It's a long fight ahead.

-- Trying to stay positive

 

Smile:

When California's Prop 8 passed in 2008, restricting the recognition of marriage to opposite-sex couples, I remember talking to my apprehensive brother. I told him not to worry and that his future would become brighter with the slow demise of the ignoramus.

My brother, who shines with constant optimism, said he would still put on his bright smile every day. And yet, we can see how it must be hard when his sister -- his twin without a filter, as he's named me -- and he have unequal civil rights as human beings.

I got to marry my husband.

Then on Jan. 7, 2012, my brother and his partner made history as the first men to enter a civil union on the island of Kauai.

It may be a bumpy ride ahead, but we're here fighting. At least we can finally start to see that glorious sky behind that big fat elephant's flag.

Or is that Rush Limbaugh's leather thong?

Whatever it is, it's blocking Rick Santorum's view from the airport bathroom.