Bingo often invokes images of gray hairs in muumuus, pairing pantyhose with sandals (complete with toenail-pierced hose holes) -- or smoke-stained white 'staches topped with cowboy hats and bathrobes.
False alarm, grandpa. (As empty Styrofoam coffee cups fly at his face. Those octogenarians can get irate on occasion.)
Far away, some miles away from the VFW, Maloney's Tavern, 1432 Market St., Denver, has a bingo night for us that would make our grannies poop a doily.
Every Monday, the LoDo pub hosts Forbidden Bingo from 7-9 p.m. Two of Denver's notorious personalities -- DJ Rockstar Aaron (that dude with the gigantic multi-colored mowhawk, pink eyebrows and blue eyeshadow) and Rich DeMarah -- call the numbers while you don't false alarm. (Got it?)
Ten bingo games feature gifts from Denver's adult shop Romantix -- porn? Maybe some toys? Lube? Gag balls? The rest of the games will doll out free drinks for winners.
There are two-for-one drink specials and cheap food specials too.
Don't prematurely bingo or we'll feed you to a dingo.
Info: maloneystavern.com; 303-825-1990; free
Oh so vintage
I think we've all bought vinyl more recently than we've bought a CD, right?
Although bulky, a pain in the ass to digitally transfer and a high risk of being scratched, there's just something about that vinyl sound. There's also something about popping that spindle on a 45, putting the record on and plopping the needle to watch those tunes party like it's wearing circulation socks and open-toe sandals.
Wake up, millenials! It's vintage. And vintage is always sexy.
Sunday at the Ramada Plaza Convention Center, 10 E. 120th Ave., Denver, is the 20th Denver Record Collectors Spring Expo. The expo boasts itself as being the premiere music collector's show in the region, with more than 100 display tables filled with nearly every type of music.
For those can't tear away from CDs (you would), the expo has tons of those too, as well as posters and music memorabilia. Plus, there will be live music and DJs.
Dance your vinyl pants off. Nope. Don't wear vinyl pants.
Info: Sunday 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; bigk.com; $2
Rollin' with the homies
One time my brother tried to teach me how to longboard on The Hill after a debaucherous evening once upon a time ago. Turns out, my height works against me. So does my lack of any skill.
Instead of trying for those never-gonna-get-em skills, I'll settle with watching you badasses trickin' those tricks like tricks. Or whatever we're calling it these days. (Maybe in another life when I'm not circus-freak tall I can try.)
If I can't roll on one, might as well enjoy their beauty. They're pretty, aren't they? Art on wheels.
Park Hill Skates, 2236 Oneida St., Denver, is hosting Get A Grip: A Skateboard Art Show on Saturday night and will feature artists from all around the world contributing skate-related art. There will be a reception and a silent auction that will raise funds for Aurora Rise, which benefits victims of the Aurora Theater shooting tragedy.
Info: Saturday 5 p.m.-9 p.m.; parkhillskates.com; 303-583-GNAR (nice); free