Hello there, fellow millennials, and congrats on graduating college.
It's a wonder you could accomplish this, but it's a good thing you did. You see, according to the cover of Time magazine this week, you and I are "The Me Me Me Generation." We are "lazy, entitled narcissists who still live with [our] parents."
The good news, according to Time's cover, is that we're going to save everyone.
Joel Stein's story on millennials is not free, and as a 24-year-old only fresh(ish) out of college myself, my bank account is horrifyingly deep in the red, so I won't be paying to read it to find out how. But Stein and Time assure us that there are tons of statistics to back this up.
I should take a Lucille Bluth approach: "If that's a veiled criticism of me, I won't hear it and I won't understand it." But I can't ignore it and I'm feeling impetuous. I need to vent.
Rather than walk out the office doors -- middle fingers in the air, leaving older generations to fix everything while I lounge around and sext -- I'd like to celebrate being young and ready to take on the world with you, grads. The world is our rotting, leftover oyster without a pearl.
So, on the eve of your entry into the "real world," let's party. And though other generations made absolutely fantastic contributions to music, this party is Millennials Only. Our generation gets to claim Frank Ocean, Janelle Monae, MGMT, Passion Pit, Sleigh Bells, Japandroids, Vampire Weekend, Miguel, Kendrick Lamar ... I could go on and on.
And not only is the music good, the artists are changing the way we think and talk about it. Michael Angelakos is outspoken (and well-spoken) about mental illness. Grimes is standing up for women in music. Frank Ocean, of course, is changing what sexuality means in hip hop. We can argue about Macklemore and Azealia Banks until our illegal downloads are done, but ... well, whatever.
Take a page out of these songbooks and go do something great. I don't care if you do it from your parents' house (but maybe don't hang around too long). I don't care if you have the conversation that changes the world in Gchat. And I don't care if you make excellent music on your laptop. Just go kick life's ass.
Here is your graduation playlist -- by millennials, for millennials:
"Time To Pretend," MGMT
"Carried Away," Passion Pit
"Tounge Tied," Grouplove
"Younger Us," Japandroids
"Diane Young," Vampire Weekend
"Q.U.E.E.N." Janelle Monae feat. Erykah Badu
"Sweet Life," Frank Ocean
"How Many Drinks?" Miguel feat. Kendrick Lamar
"Losing You," Solange
"Red Lips," Sky Ferreira
"1991," Azealia Banks
"Comeback Kid," Sleigh Bells