• I'm Not There: Westward the wagons - 03/13/2017 02:09 PM MDT
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  • The China Monologues: A guilt trip home - 07/24/2017 05:43 PM MDT
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    (Fantz)
    Fantz in Your PantsFantz in Your Pants: Bed, bath & bejezus

    Growing old means popping a boner for trash pickup, coupons and the like
    07/25/2017 03:22 PM MDT
    Hey Fantz, It's the Silver Foxes saying hey. I just got my weekly 20 percent off coupon from Bed Bath and Beyond, and I was so happy! 
    Full Story
    Fantz in Your Pants: Game of groans
    07/17/2017 06:10 PM MDT - Christy, My boyfriend hates "Game of Thrones" and won't watch it with me. I think I have to leave him. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: The stoner burrito
    07/10/2017 07:52 PM MDT - Dear Christy, My boyfriend is such a loaf. He smokes pot all day and buys the most stupid shit when I ask him to go to the store. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: No, he's not gay
    06/27/2017 03:47 PM MDT - Christy: Everybody thinks I'm gay. I'm not. It's making me bitter. Can a guy have feminine qualities without wanting to hand out free BJs? Full Story

    Fantz in Your Bra: My cupeth overfloweth
    06/19/2017 09:12 PM MDT - Remember when (insert antiquated word for "women") carried milkmaid's yokes? Those jugs of water suspended from rope that was balanced on a shoulder rod? Full Story

    Sans Serif Fantz: Insure this, Kaiser
    06/12/2017 08:25 PM MDT - Shit's been rough. In 28 days, our dog died, two family members were hospitalized and the epic May 8 hail storm trashed our Denver home. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Aloe-luja, dudes
    05/22/2017 07:35 PM MDT - Suffer from dry genitals? Is your bushwacker left scaly and cracked from eczema? Foreskin enveloped in redness and irritation? Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Let's be blunt
    05/15/2017 08:30 PM MDT - Christy: My girlfriend wants me to move to Colorado from Boston, but Colorado is a stoner-hippie cow town. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Mangled mug
    05/08/2017 01:22 PM MDT - Dear Christy, My new boyfriend looks like a model. His fabulous body, package, teeth, hair and style are highlighted even more by his great confidence, personality and values. The kicker: His face is a bit screwed up. I'm not fully attracted to him, especially in conversation while staring at his wonky face. His features are all weirdly close together. There, I said it. I may be superficial, but OMG I can't help it. How do I get past this?  Full Story

    Sans Serif Fantz: A mouth on Momma
    04/24/2017 08:39 PM MDT - In a tiny voice, echoing through the halls of a fairly empty Flatiron Crossing mall on Sunday, I hear, "I can't fucking get this to work. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Best man or better man?
    04/17/2017 09:03 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I'm the best man at a wedding for my douche friend. We grew up like brothers, so I feel obligated, but he's boisterous, demeaning to women, he talks down to his fiance and he said he wants to hook up with a stripper at his bachelor party. Full Story

    Sans Serif Fantz: Baby girl Abby
    04/11/2017 01:32 PM MDT - Dear Abby, Our big, beautiful beast, I'm so sad we have to lay you to rest. Heartbreak doesn't describe the pain. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Bro in tight pants
    04/04/2017 03:28 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I can't find it in my heart to wear skinny jeans, mainly because the leg opening won't accommodate my gigantic skate shoes. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Tongue-tied tutorial
    03/27/2017 08:26 PM MDT - Dear Christy, Say I were to go down on a lady. What exactly is the process? I need a step-by-step tutorial. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Silver lining
    03/13/2017 07:44 PM MDT - My editor lured me to the conference room under the guise of a "meeting." I'm totally getting canned, I thought. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Repent, you sinner
    03/06/2017 07:49 PM MST - Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. In the Lenten spirit, I'm stepping into this here confessional to divulge some immoral acts I've committed. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: The Nut Hut
    03/02/2017 05:41 PM MST - Dear Christy, Although my husband looks phenomenal in a Speedo, I personally can't muster the gumption to don that type of garb in public. Either I am a total wimp or he is just winning on the Kinsey Scale. Your thoughts? (Tread lightly, I am your brother after all). - Fantz in Hawaii  Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Hearts and crabs
    02/14/2017 01:58 PM MST - Happy venereal disease, friends. Is that a crab crawling out of that unkempt rug, or are you just happy to see me? Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Finish him!
    01/30/2017 09:17 PM MST - Dear Christy, Where can I get a happy ending? Can I call and ask massage places if they offer them? What's the etiquette? Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Year of the Silver Fox
    01/19/2017 02:11 PM MST - Hi, Fantz. What's shakin'? The Silver Foxes from Vic's are ready to charge at 2017 full throttle. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Cowgirl roundup and a friendship that wants to become a boneship
    01/09/2017 08:22 PM MST - Fantz: I went to the (Denver) Western Stock Show and screwed around with two Wyoming cowgirls I met. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Poly wants a mono
    12/12/2016 06:59 PM MST - Dear Christy, I'm into polyamory and I'm interested in flirting with a monogamist, but he doesn't know I'm poly. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Burning bush and the Ghost of Bangings Past
    11/28/2016 05:56 PM MST - Dear Christy, I worked my tail off to achieve my wealthy lifestyle, and I refuse to apologize for it. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Acting out dreams
    11/14/2016 08:03 PM MST - I had a dream over the weekend that I slapped a friend across the face. She was driving erratically with my child in the car, then stepped out and started laughing, so I slapped her. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Mother f*ckers and ecosexuals
    11/07/2016 07:30 PM MST - Colloquial tree-huggers can double as physical tree-huggers, but if they drop trou and rapidly gyrate, we may have an ecosexual on our hands. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Donald Trump is bad stimulus for a battered brain
    10/10/2016 07:00 PM MDT - When I was a 19-year-old secretary working a summer job for a beer-distributing company, I was sexually harassed daily by a half-dozen middle-aged men. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Bailing bride
    10/03/2016 08:27 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I'm due to marry next summer and my girlfriend told me she needs a year to explore the world. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Them for president
    09/27/2016 01:11 PM MDT - Getting into the political spirit, I'd like to offer a fictional assortment of presidential candidates, ribbed for your pleasure.  Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Roughing the dancer
    09/19/2016 09:32 PM MDT - Who invited the NFL Rulebook? That asshole shut the tunes down at 9 p.m., forced our clambake outdoors and started cleaning up party trash before the third guest even arrived. Full Story

    Fantz in Your Pants: Green means go
    09/13/2016 12:23 PM MDT - While sucking on a cancer stick on my porch Sunday night, I concocted a genius plan that involved a neighborhood traffic light: It would behoove the hood to migrate the light one block south. Full Story

    (Matt York / Associated Press)
    College footballCU football: Buffs reeling from first blowout loss

    Turnovers, sacks allowed pile up in defeats

    After many of Colorado's Pac-12 losses over the years, there was a helpless feeling coming from the Buffaloes.

     
    Full Story
    (Matt York / Associated Press)
    College footballCU football: Buffs reeling from first blowout loss

    Turnovers, sacks allowed pile up in defeats

    After many of Colorado's Pac-12 losses over the years, there was a helpless feeling coming from the Buffaloes.

     
    Full Story
    (Paul Aiken / Staff Photographer)
    Second Story Garage: Gasoline Lollipops

    The Boulder alt-country band gives its EPs names such as Death and Resurrection, and its songs bear the mark of hard truths and sin. But the punk energy behind the playing, and the sense that it's all in good fun, make it OK to dance to a song like "Death." Full Story

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