Fantz in Your Pants
(Christy Fantz)
Fantz in Your PantsFantz in Your Pants: Year of the Silver Fox

Fantz's soothsaying skills could be rusty, but 2017 is looking good for salt-n-pepper pubes
01/19/2017 02:11 PM MST
Hi, Fantz. What's shakin'? The Silver Foxes from Vic's are ready to charge at 2017 full throttle. 
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Fantz in Your Pants: Cowgirl roundup and a friendship that wants to become a boneship
01/09/2017 08:22 PM MST - Fantz: I went to the (Denver) Western Stock Show and screwed around with two Wyoming cowgirls I met. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Poly wants a mono
12/12/2016 06:59 PM MST - Dear Christy, I'm into polyamory and I'm interested in flirting with a monogamist, but he doesn't know I'm poly. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Burning bush and the Ghost of Bangings Past
11/28/2016 05:56 PM MST - Dear Christy, I worked my tail off to achieve my wealthy lifestyle, and I refuse to apologize for it. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Acting out dreams
11/14/2016 08:03 PM MST - I had a dream over the weekend that I slapped a friend across the face. She was driving erratically with my child in the car, then stepped out and started laughing, so I slapped her. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Mother f*ckers and ecosexuals
11/07/2016 07:30 PM MST - Colloquial tree-huggers can double as physical tree-huggers, but if they drop trou and rapidly gyrate, we may have an ecosexual on our hands. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Donald Trump is bad stimulus for a battered brain
10/10/2016 07:00 PM MDT - When I was a 19-year-old secretary working a summer job for a beer-distributing company, I was sexually harassed daily by a half-dozen middle-aged men. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Bailing bride
10/03/2016 08:27 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I'm due to marry next summer and my girlfriend told me she needs a year to explore the world. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Them for president
09/27/2016 01:11 PM MDT - Getting into the political spirit, I'd like to offer a fictional assortment of presidential candidates, ribbed for your pleasure.  Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Roughing the dancer
09/19/2016 09:32 PM MDT - Who invited the NFL Rulebook? That asshole shut the tunes down at 9 p.m., forced our clambake outdoors and started cleaning up party trash before the third guest even arrived. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Green means go
09/13/2016 12:23 PM MDT - While sucking on a cancer stick on my porch Sunday night, I concocted a genius plan that involved a neighborhood traffic light: It would behoove the hood to migrate the light one block south. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Dames and dogs
08/29/2016 08:05 PM MDT - Friday marked an important day for both women and dogs. Each Aug. 26, Women's Equality Day and National Dog Day are observed. Full Story

Welcome to CU: Where the Buffalo roam
08/26/2016 03:41 PM MDT - Maybe the University of Colorado hasn't had a football title since before you were a twinkle in your parents' reproductive organs. Full Story

Know your columnist: Fantz stars in 'Fantz in Your Pants'
08/22/2016 10:00 PM MDT - If there's something strange in your bedroom, who you gonna call? Christy Fantz, that's who, because she'll bust (heh) through the bullshit and give it to you straight (or whichever way you swing). Full Story

Body & Soul: Don't forget to breathe, Buffs
08/22/2016 09:43 PM MDT - Holy chakras, it's raining soul out there! (Shut up hippie.) I have a point. In the late 1960s, Boulder was a choice spot for hippies to land. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Panties and pot
08/22/2016 06:44 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I like to smoke weed, but I always cough so hard and pee my pants. At a party over the weekend I wet myself and I feel like an idiot. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Lasso of Truth
08/09/2016 10:49 AM MDT - I've been called an Amazon all my hearty years on this planet. With diffidence, I never embraced it. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Ctrl+this, life
08/01/2016 10:21 PM MDT - I'm all about shortcuts. Ctrl+C, Ctrl+X, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+Z. I use and abuse them on a constant basis. If only there was a Ctrl+abort mission? Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Welcome to the shit show
07/25/2016 09:46 PM MDT - Dear Christy: I went camping with my fiance's family and her mom walked up on me going to the bathroom in the woods. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Adventures of Catman
07/18/2016 08:08 PM MDT - Christy, I got a kitten last month and my buddies will not stop harassing me. Us guys like to give each other hell, but they've renamed me "pussy. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Millennial meltdown
07/12/2016 04:53 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I started dating a millennial who's 23 and I'm 41. The age difference doesn't bother me, but at a weekend party I heard one of her guy friends call me "grey balls. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: The ex-men
06/28/2016 02:52 PM MDT - Dear Christy, I'm friends with most of my exes and it bothers my new BF. I'll get a drink, dinner or see a movie with them and it's no big deal. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Taking the high ride
06/20/2016 07:48 PM MDT - Dear Christy, Have you tried cannabis lube? My friend's boyfriend bought her some and we were curious about it. Full Story

Fantz: 'Ohana on high
06/14/2016 12:06 AM MDT - Once upon some Colorado summers ago, my brother Kevin was dating Matty, and the two held the highest aspirations of bringing love and change to the world. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Objectify this
06/06/2016 06:51 PM MDT - As I walked the spawn around the neighborhood lake for a stroller ride, this sculpted, shirtless dude whizzed by me. "Daaaaaamn," I said.  Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Fantzy meeting you
05/24/2016 03:28 PM MDT - Picture a big, fuzzy lion sitting belly-up to the bar. Not the type of lion who wants to slice a gut and snack on a digestive tract — instead, she wants to get pissed on whiskey and occasionally purr positivity into lost soul's ears. Full Story

Fantz: Alphabet soup and synesthesia
05/16/2016 09:33 PM MDT - Synesthesia is intriguing. The ability to smell colors, see music and taste words would be a neat superpower. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Buffs' Ralphie is Queen Beast
05/09/2016 09:23 PM MDT - Monday, President Barack Obama signed a law making the bison the first national mammal. What about the bald eagle? Well, it's not technically a mammal because it births its young via eggs. (Suck on that, baldie.) Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Higher 'education'
05/02/2016 09:30 PM MDT - Whether you're graduating, headed home to a suburb basement, enrolled in summer classes, or selling your flesh to pay Colorado rent, let's take this time to reminisce on college highlights. Full Story

Fantz in Your Pants: Gallivanting graduate
04/26/2016 08:25 PM MDT - Christy, My boyfriend of two years is graduating and moving to Denver in May. He suggested we take some time off to find ourselves until I graduate - which is a year from now. Is this secret guy code for him to screw around with Denver girls, but also have me on the side when he wants to be in Boulder? It doesn't sound good to me. -Man moving on  Full Story

(Matt York / Associated Press)
College footballCU football: Buffs reeling from first blowout loss

Turnovers, sacks allowed pile up in defeats

After many of Colorado's Pac-12 losses over the years, there was a helpless feeling coming from the Buffaloes.

 
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(Matt York / Associated Press)
College footballCU football: Buffs reeling from first blowout loss

Turnovers, sacks allowed pile up in defeats

After many of Colorado's Pac-12 losses over the years, there was a helpless feeling coming from the Buffaloes.

 
Full Story
Second Story Garage: Bandits

Boulder is pretty good at producing rock bands, and by "rock," we mean the in-your-face, guitar-heavy, leather-clad variety — you know, the good kind. For a prime example, look no farther than BANDITS. Full Story

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