I've spent most of my life viewing injury and illness as signs of weakness, and my coping mechanism was to simply deny injury and illness altogether. Thanks to years of therapy, I have accepted that as a human I can't refuse these things, but apparently it's not without some traces of magical thinking. Every day for the last three weeks I have woken up with the same thought, "You have been such a trooper! Today your ankle will be better and you can go for a run. You deserve it!" Then I would stretch my legs out, yelp in pain, and begrudgingly grab the crutches.
My neighbor offered to help me carry my laundry, and when I said no she asked, "if you did need help, would you know how to ask for it?" I didn't have a response. My other neighbor suggested the whole thing happened to teach me a lesson. Even though I wanted to punch her, I have to agree, I have learned many lessons recently.
On the body — Your body will betray you at some point. You will get hurt or sick and you won't be able to think your way out of it. You will need to take care of yourself, go slowly, and listen to your body.
On needing people — I am a very independent person. I rolled my eyes when my best friend spent the first night at my house. But after painfully crutching my way to my bed I realized how much I needed her.
"Don't feel like you have to babysit me. I'm fine. But since you're already here, can you bring me a glass of water, move the fan, and let the dog out?"
I have relied on my dad to drive me around. My mom has brought me food to my house and to work. My co-workers have picked up slack for me at work.
On the built environment — This world was not built for the disabled. Sure, there are ADA regulations that have made things like using the restroom possible. But everything is really fucking difficult. I learned a lot about the world whilst on a motorized scooter at Walmart. Yep, that happened.
I have learned humility. I have learned to accept help. And I have learned my limitations. Maybe now that I've learned these lessons my ankle will finally feel better tomorrow and I can go for a run.