Liz Marsh
Liz Marsh

Hey guys, serious question: What the fuck are we eating these days?

I know that many of you out there also keep a running list of foods we're not eating, including meat, soy, shade plants, gluten, legumes, peanuts (which are legumes, you fool), eggs, palm oil, rbGH milk, non-organic strawberries, bacon, fruit juice, popcorn, bottled water and tilapia.

Along with a healthy dose of liberal guilt over farmworkers rights, national politics and environmental sustainability, and I have become crippled when it comes to what I should eat.

Nearly every evening includes some version of the following thought process:

Co-worker: Last night I made this recipe. It was amazing!

Me (looking at recipe): Cool, I'll substitute the beef for tofu! I read that article about how beef consumption is the single greatest contributor of greenhouse gas emissions. Except soybeans are the biggest GMO crop in the world, so I'd better skip the tofu, too. I can use quinoa in place of the pasta, but I ate oatmeal for breakfast. Is that too many grains for one day? I try to buy tortillas only from the Mexican grocery store by my house, because I'm all about small businesses and doing my part to combat urban food deserts. But they're closed on Mondays. I guess I could stop at the chain grocery store, except we're still boycotting their open-carry gun policy. No big deal. I have chicken in my freezer and a half-eaten goat cheese log.


I can improvise! Chicken, though ... oh man, I can't even think about chicken. Those poor birds. Even the "cage-free" ones never get to see the sunlight. They are kept in horrible conditions in factory farms. I am never going to buy chicken again. But I already have the chicken; it would be a waste not to eat it. Apparently they wash chicken in all sorts of gross chemicals now to make it last longer. Maybe I should just throw the chicken away. Who knows what's on there. OK, so I still have the goat cheese. But ... I read about how they are using prisoners to milk the goats for the cheese. So that's out. Can I boycott things I've already purchased? Seems misplaced. But I can't just ignore these injustices.

Ignorance is bliss, folks. And sometimes ignorance is a choice.

Fast forward to 8 p.m. I'm starving and wracked with anxiety. I eat a carrot from my garden. I wonder if the seeds I used were heirloom. Then, I order a pizza.

Dinner is served.

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