Bear
Bear

If Nazis want to protest, they can. As distasteful as they are — and they are not good people, no matter what the president says — it's a free country. Actual good people can show up with clever placards and make fun of them.

The problem now, however, is these people aren't protesting. When you show up at a Nazi rally with an assault rifle slung over your shoulder, that's not peacefully protesting. That's being threatening.

So new rule. I'm taking "New Rules." It seems like only a matter of time before Bill Maher drops one too many errant N-bombs and gets cancelled. And then I can swoop in and ...

Sorry, new rule: One amendment exercise at a time. You can show up and waive your Confederate flag, but you have to leave your gun at home. I don't show up heavily armed when I cover a city council meeting (mostly because my editor won't let me), but you get the idea.

If bad white people are allowed to protest because they don't want the removal of statues honoring an armed insurrection — which isn't even a real problem — black athletes sure as hell should be able to take a knee to express their opinion that black folks kind of get hosed. Well, not kind of.

This is especially important when viewed in light of ...


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You know what, damn you, President Trump — if that is your real name — for forcing me to stand up for football players. Damn you, sir. (Well, at least I'm not being forced to stand up for slam poetry people. But I would if decency dictated it.)

Here's an impression of my public school experience.

"Hey there, John Bear," said the entire football team. "We are going to beat your ass for being a homo."

"Uh, well I'm not gay, but I guess if your perception of me as being a homosexual aids in drawing a more clearly defined distinction between myself and a gang of bigoted halfwits such as yourselves, then I guess I'm a homo."

"I have no idea what he just said," the entire football team said. "Me either. Let's get him!"

"Hey, look, it's the Noid and he's hanging out with Chester Cheetah and Spuds McKenzie!" (I just dated myself.)

"Where?!"

I run fast when I'm scared. I should have played football. Sometimes they caught me, however, and I — and both of my kidneys — have never held football players in the highest regard.

Personally, the only thing I like about football season is taking mild swipes at the Broncos because I like to see my coworkers faces turn red. I also like the $1 roast beef sandwiches at Arby's. I'm a disgusting human being.

Anyway, we have a bully in the White House. We need to watch out for each other. As much as I don't like you, football players, we are in this together. So please, take a knee. I don't mind.

Read more Bear: coloradodaily.com/columnists. Stalk him: twitter.com/johnbearwithme