Freeman
Freeman

Teaching kindergarten in Korea is one of the highlights of my career and life. I enjoyed seeing the kids learn, grow and blah blah blah.

Kindergarten teachers around the world teach life lessons that should be reinforced throughout all ages. After I'd been away from the USA for so long, I didn't realize so many Americans can't act like decent 5-year-olds. Lots of adults need time outs.

"Be nice to people" should be one of the first lessons you learn as a child and should be a shining example of adult life.

I ride mass transit, walk around and work with loud people. That's why we need to use our "inside voices." If you're talking on your phone on the bus, how about this: Please be quiet.

Along with shouting on the phone, listening to music without headphones or talking too loud, people should remember, "You are important, but so is everybody else."

Kindergarten teachers exhaust their spinal columns bending over all day, so we teach this valuable lesson: "If you take something, put it back." This is useful when I find the office's only pair of scissors on the floor under the copier.

"Keep bathroom things inside a bathroom." Of course I've publicly urinated, but only at night and not in front of people. Watching people in public clipping fingernails, picking noses, scratching nether parts and not covering mouths when coughing — these aren't urban legends; it's real life, and it's disgusting.


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People get angry sometimes, and that's OK. "Looks like you need some quiet time." This helps the mad kid and the others. We can all think of plenty of people who need to sit in a corner and cool off.

"Everybody has bad days, you don't need to bring that bad energy into the world." That's pretty self-explanatory.

Even children have been known to show a little self-control with their diets. "Sugar is OK for a treat, but not for lunch." Or get diabetes and obesity. It's your choice.

"Happy stickers for good things, sad points for bad things." Rewards are great, but taking those awards away is also important. Our favorite athletes, celebrities and politicians should be reminded of this.

"Friends are nice, but you don't need to be friends with everybody." If that lady doesn't want to go on a date with you, it's not because she's a bitch. Maybe she's just busy and doesn't have room in her life for another relationship.

"Underwear goes under your clothes." I had no idea people still sagged their pants. I thought that went the way of "American Idol." Wait, shit, that's still around, too?

It's 2018, are we still worried about boys taking dance classes and girls lifting weights? "It's OK for boys to do 'girl things' and vice versa."

We all drop stuff or make mistakes. "Accidents happen."

Here's another thing I love about teaching kindergarten kids: How about we play a game of "Who can be quiet the longest?" Sometimes I think it'd be great to stuff tranquilizers down the throats of annoying people.

Finally, remember, "Your kindergarten teacher is always right."

Read more Freeman: coloradodaily.com/columns. Stalk him: comfyconfines.wordpress.com