Freeman
Freeman

We all love TV and movies. They show us something relatable to our lives or maybe give us a peek into another world. The stories and characters are wonderful, but if I could step into those fictional worlds, there are some other things I'd want to experience.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy": I need to try the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. What's this drink made of and what does it do to you? Is it like absinthe? Wild Turkey 101? Bleach?

"Community": I'd like to sit in a lecture with one of those loveable doofus professors. Can any of them teach, or is the entire campus full of weirdos?

"Zoolander": What does Mugatu's Derelicte clothing line feel like? If I wear garbage, will I meet more really, really good-looking people?

"American Psycho": What type of antics go on in the Pierce & Pierce hedge fund company or whatever it is? Will I witness mergers and acquisitions or murders and assassinations?

"Breaking Bad": The fried chicken at Pollos Hermanos must either be really tasty or absolutely terrible. Is it better than most fast food chains, or is it so awful so it can ... never mind. I don't want to give any spoilers.

"ER": I've endured a lot of ambulance rides and emergency rooms, but next time, I'd like to go to County General Hospital so my doctors and nurses will all be beautiful. Same thing for Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital of "Grey's Anatomy."


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"Buffy the Vampire Slayer": I want to order a sandwich at The Doublemeat Palace. Skip this one if you don't want any spoilers. What does a hamburger taste like when the secret ingredient is ... meat?

"Frisky Dingo": "The Secret Life of Greenhouse Gases" is rapper Taquil's concept album about global warming. Could this change deniers' mindsets? If the cover of Taquil's previous CD is any indication of the contents inside, "Ballocaust" is probably the most offensive thing ever created.

"Entourage": Does the show "Viking Quest" measure up to "Game of Thrones," or is it more along the lines o "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys?" Can Johnny Drama act, or is he a scrawny Kevin Sorbo? Victory!

"Gone Girl": Do the "Amazing Amy" books describe the main character's psyche? Just kidding, that lady scared me enough that I don't ever need to see anything more about her.

"The Big Lebowski": I'd really like to hear "Autobahn," a record from an German industrial technopop leather fetish band. Or whatever it's supposed to be. Also, Flea's a member! I hope I'm not entering a world of pain.

"Rick and Morty": I could close my eyes and pick any one of their made-up things and I'm sure it would be mind-blowing. Both Interdimenstional Cable episodes are a phenomenal grab bag. How good are action movies like "Ball Fondlers" or "Two Brothers in a Van"? I bet you'd watch "How They Do It" so you could finally figure out how a plumbus is made.

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