Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope you all get more presents than CU football had wins.
The college football world may not. Santa had a hard time finding more people nice than naughty this season. Colorado athletic director Mike Bohn whacked coach Jon Embree after 1½ recruiting classes, and university presidents showed little loyalty to their conferences.
But Santa did find plenty of gifts for the Pac-12 offenses that all but inserted chemistry students to keep from scoring in the fourth quarter against the Buffs. While I know we're supposed to wait until Christmas to open presents, here's a 24-hour preview of what's under college football trees:
Mike MacIntyre — The Book of Job. He'll need more patience in Boulder than he did in San Jose where the WAC is a lot easier to climb than the Pac-12. Seventeen starters return from the worst Colorado team in history. They are still at least two years from flirting with .500.
Mike Bohn — A winning football season. One. Sometime. Anytime. Three strikes and you're out isn't only in baseball. It's in athletic administration, too. He whiffed on Dan Hawkins, the frontman of Chris Petersen's genius at Boise State. Then Embree goes 1-11 in his second season. Bohn needs MacIntyre to succeed.
Jim McElwain — A new stadium. The guy Bohn should've hired in the first place two years ago has Colorado State headed in the right direction. Three wins in his last five games with little talent show CSU hit at least a stand-up double with this hire. An on-campus stadium could turn it into a home run.
Big East — Air Force. UNLV. While we're at it, how 'bout La Verne? The Beast of the East gets mere stocking stuffers to fill the slots left by rats fleeing the biggest sinking ship in college athletics.
Chip Kelly — The Jacksonville Jaguars. Word has it that his wandering eye toward the NFL is becoming more focused. He could leave Oregon one step ahead of NCAA sanctions for his recruitment of wayward tailback Lache Seastrunk.
Brian Kelly — An offense. His Notre Dame team, averaging only 26.7 points per game, faces the nation's best defense with the BCS Championship on the line. The Irish will need more than echoes to beat Alabama.
Collin Klein — A six-figure job in the corporate world. Loveland High's near Heisman Trophy winner has his eyes on the NFL. With the hitch in his long delivery, the feeling isn't really mutual. The league doesn't need another Tim Tebow.
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