Sing with me now!
Step 1, cut a hole in a box. Step 2, put your junk in that box. Step 3, make her open the box... It's my dick in a box. My dick in a box, babe.
Solid work from the back-row sopranos. The rest of you, see me after class.
There's this group out of Austin called Action Pack who hosts Sing-Alongs and Quote-Alongs (interactive screenings, if you will) in cinema houses. They'll screen flicks like "Elf" or "Grandma's Boy" and the whole dang theater can shout movie lines at the screen.
Back to "Dick in a Box." The Austin group is in Denver this weekend bringing us The Watching Hour: Xmas Pops Sing Along!
Yes. "Dick in a Box" is a Christmas song.
This Sing-Along is at Sie FilmCenter, 2510 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, tonight and Saturday at 10 p.m., with a whole mess of tunes and pop music videos -- from the classics like Bing Crosby to the Chipmunks to N'Sync and Mariah Carey.
Sing your Scrooge hearts out and get free Santa hats, jingle bells and candles. Plus, there's a bar in the film house, so spice up the night with an adult beverage or 12.
Info: Tonight and Saturday night at 10 p.m.; denverfilm.org; $7-$10
Shop in style
It's Dec. 14. Do you know where your presents are?
Me neither. I'll probably start shopping on Christmas Eve because you can't spell Fantz without "procrastination." I realize that made no sense.
Get your shit together and head to Frost: Fashion Denver's Holiday Market on Sunday for some holiday shopping from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. in the historic Grant-Humphreys Mansion, 770 Pennsylvania St., Denver. The event features 30 local designers who will bring their latest designs to the mansion for your shopping pleasure.
There will be fashion shows, a garland-making station, a "make your own holiday card" table and a chair massager. (Look, we get stressed when we holiday shop. It's a good call.)
So, instead of a gift card or a Chia Pet (which I want desperately for Christmas, hint, hint), get your homies something special and creative for the holidays.
But if you're anything like me, you'll go home with armfuls of shiny new shit all in your own size.
Info: Sunday from 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; fashiondenver.com; free
Laugh like a moron
Louis C.K. is such a crazy bastard.
I think we all want to marry him. Even you, dudes. Top-notch comedy. (He was recently nominated for a Golden Globe. Yeah. Let's start getting some filth into those primetime award shows. Maybe he'll have a wardrobe malfunction.)
The comedian will be at the Belco Theater (the artist formerly known as Wells Fargo Theatre) in the Colorado Convention Center, 700 14th St., Denver, Saturday at 8 p.m.
Tickets are $45 flat, available at Louis C.K.'s website: buy.louisck.net.
Info: Saturday at 8 p.m.; 303-228-8000; $45