One of my fears, folks, is being seated in the front row of a comedy club. Sure, spiders, small spaces and being mauled by a bear while peeing in the woods is up there, but my one and only experience at a comedy club put this in the top 20 at least.
The nightlife was not what we'd hoped while visiting my friend in Florida (we were easily 40+ years younger than most in town), so we decided to hit comedy night.
And of course, we get seated front-row center in a tiny hole-in-the-strip-mall place.
"I'm not nearly drunk enough for this," I mutter to him, as he nods in agreement. But it seemed the waitress didn't care about my mental awareness and left me sinking lower in my chair as the first guy came on stage.
Sure as shit, five minutes in, I'm smiling awkwardly, insisting that no, I was not a model (why do men make this dumb joke?), no this was not my husband, and no I was not interested in a threesome with them later.
Seems my clear discomfort was his opening act. Big panda jerk.
Now, I'm not saying I don't appreciate comedy. I laugh at far dumber things. Like myself. But man, that wasn't the way I should have been exposed to it.
It's like sex. You need a good first go at it to want to put yourself in that position again (not that that EVER happens) and it takes the right person to really make you leave with a smile. Unless it's funny in a sad way.
Well The Dairy Center for the Arts (26th and Walnut St.) could be a fun way to lose your comedy night V card, with an all-female lineup Saturday night. That's right, men. Your first time with six women. Bow chica wow ... FOCUS.
This powerhouse set of local comedians is set to take the stage at 8 p.m., and with a ladies-night-out discount, it's a cheap date for you and five of your friends. Just use BOGO as your checkout code. And hey, there will be drinks too. Just in case you're caught in a "me" kind of situation.
All week, I've been reading statuses and tweets (because my life is hideously consumed by social media, AKA. my source of "friends and/or social life" nowadays ... #LOLSadness) about folks peeing their pants for "Despicable Me 2."
And so if you're like me and being dragged to the sequel whether you know anything about the first one or not, you may want to stop by the Boulder Outdoor Cinema (1750 13th St.) for the original. "Despicable Me" is showing on Saturday night at dusk, with Radio 1190 spinning tunes at 7:30 p.m.
It being summer and all, I'm finding all sorts of activities for you outdoorsy folks. I don't qualify in this category, seeing as how I packed up my tacos and ran from our picnic table when a little bug flew too close to my salsa last night. Yes, I'd be the first dead in the Hunger Games.
GoLite (1222 Pearl St.) is hosting a "Cooking on the Trail" session that'll help you learn to prep meals more complex than Smirnoff screwdrivers and PBR on your next backpacking trip.
You little overachievers will learn to dehydrate food and different cooking systems, etc. at 6:30 p.m. tonigh.
Don't be strangers. I love hearing from you fellow alchies, especially when I'm desperate for attention and ideas all summer. Follow me on Twitter at
@ansieh, and email me all the things: firstname.lastname@example.org.