Halloween is next Thursday.

Time to whip out the doll appendages and plastic snakes.

Decisions. Do we: A. dress up this weekend; B. dress up next weekend; C. dress up Thursday; or D. all of the above.

Just like when it's the pancake breakfast and Ron Burgundy's going, the answer is D. We're dressing up. All those times. From here to Halloween.

Dener agrees, too. The parties are starting this weekend for our favorite holiday, so put on your adult diapers and get ready to look like assholes. Many bars and clubs are having costume contests that offer big cash prizes, so dress to impress. Or undress to impress like a good little Halloween slut.

Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz (Mark Leffingwell/ Colorado Daily)

I can't name every shindig, so Google like the good Googler you are, but here are a couple unique events if your fingers are too lazy.

Drag queens

 

Exdo Events Center, 1399 35th St., Denver, is hosting Drag Nation, Denver's hottest drag show in town (right next door to Denver's hottest gay club, Tracks) on Friday at 9 p.m.

Denver's very own Nina Flowers will perform with Jiggly Caliente and Ongina — all from "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Info: tracksdenver.com; $10-12 and well drinks are $2 from 9-10 p.m.

Sexy ghouls

 

Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe St., Denver, is hosting a burlesque tribute to Halloween with its Halloween BOO-lesque Show. The Clocktower Clockettes will be dressing as zombies, vampires, witches, etc. There will be two shows on both Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m.

Lannie's always pulls out all the jazz with magic, juggling, aerial dancers and comedy. Costumes are optional but there will be a costume contest.

Info: lannies.com; $25-35

Cemetery Crawl

 

Dr. Colorado (Tom Noel), a history professor at the University of Colorado-Denver, will guide a tour through one of Colorado's spookiest and largest cemeteries. Meet in the Chapel at Mt. Olivet Cemetery, 12801 W. 44th Ave., Denver on Saturday at 1 p.m.

Dr. Colorado and various hosts will introduce you to past Denver celebrities who are six-feet under — like strangled Market Street prostitutes, Baby Doe Tabor (hey! That's in the UMC) and J.K. Mullen, among others. You'll also get to check out a private mausoleum.

Info: drcolorado.auraria.edu; $26-31; free grave-to-grave Model A Ford Club taxi service is available.

Run for your furry lives!

Denver streets have grown hair!

Gross.

Not really, it's just a bunch of gorillas running around like fools.

On Saturday at 11 a.m. (registration from 9-10:30 a.m.) is Denver's annual Gorilla Run, where humans don gorilla outfits, go on a 5K run for charity and join in the raging block party where there will be food and plenty of beer. (And a costume contest, so spruce up your plain gorilla.)

The run starts at Wynkoop Brewing Company, 1634 18th St., Denver, and parades around downtown Denver. You can get around the course any way you want, as long as it's not motorized. (Gorillas on longboards and rickshaws! Neat-o gang!)

You get to keep gorilla the suit with the cost of the race, so you and your lover can roll around in the bedroom with it next week. Whatever keeps you horny.

Best of all, the run proceeds go towards helping to keep the endangered mountain gorilla alive in the jungles of Rwanda, Uganda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Aw. Saving the big ol' fuzzy butts.

Info: denvergorillarun.com; $40-109.95

Follow Christy: twitter.com/fantzypants