Even though Donkey Kong was invented before you were a twinkle in your mom's cervix, you still know what it is.
But did you know that the original Donkey Kong arcade game featured the first-ever appearance of Mario in 1981? (As in Bros. As in Luigi's brutha.)
Well, your favorite place to play video games and get hammered — besides your mom's basement — The 1UP, 1925 Blake St., Denver, is hosting the Kong Off 3 ,which started Thursday and runs through Saturday.
This is a world championship event. It's like the Olympics. Or the race to the POTUS. Or when Burger King introduced Chicken Fries. These kids come from all over the world to play. We're talking cult status here.
The joint will pack in at least 20-plus of the world's best players, including the current reigning champion. Cough. Nerds.
There will also be 14 other classic arcade games on tap with a ton of the world's top gamers competing.
The shindig began on Thursday with a 24-hour Tron-athon and the Kong Off itself starts Friday at 11 a.m. and runs through Sunday night. There will also be competitions for a perfect game with Pac-Man. Plus, Frogger stuff is on tap too. All good vintage fun.
Beware, it gets packed in there.
Info: Friday-Sunday; thekongoff.com; free
A real pants party!
I need three trumpets to line up. Let's get Nick Urata (DeVotchKa), Dizzy Gillespie and Vince DiFiore (Cake) in here.
Now boys, gonna need a wah, waaaah, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah for the Museum of Contemporary art in Denver.
This week, for its off-the-cuff Black Sheep Fridays shindig, you can get your pants hemmed by a tailor while listening to Taylor Swift songs. It's called Tailor Swift .
Sarcastic trumpets, go.
This is an odd event, but that's MCA Denver. (Those cats are strange. I would like to French kiss them.)
I will not be there because women's clothing hasn't realized that broads are bred past 5-foot-9 and my closet doesn't know what pants are, BECAUSE I'M TOO TALL.
Hence, all skirts all the time.
Also, I hate Taylor Swift.
But if you need a quick tuck for your trousers' buck (must be nice), then head over to 1485 Delgany St., Denver, at 5 p.m. and bring $5 to get in.
Keep an eye on the quirky Black Sheep series — upcoming events include Cosby Con 2013 (Nov. 29), complete with Jell-O shots, pudding pops and a sweater contest; What Would Jason Do? (Dec. 13), a Friday the 13th pub quiz; and XXXmas Craftfair (Dec. 20), where you learn to decorate erotic cookies.
Info: Friday at 5 p.m.; mcadenver.org; $5
BAM! POW! CRASH!
When you hear of symphony orchestras, I hear your eyes rolling.
Like we all didn't want to sit in the coveted first chair. (Clarinet over here. I just found it in my parent's basement last month and started honking around on the bastard, much to my dogs' chagrin.)
Anyway, the Colorado Symphony is something different.
Aside from lending its talent by collaborating frequently with pop and rock musicians (DeVotchKa at Red Rocks last summer), the orchestra also hosts "Beethoven and Brews" and various events to draw in a younger crowd.
Like Satuday's The Hero's Journey — A Symphonic Tribute to Comic Con. (Man, we're nerding it up this weekend.)
At 7:30 p.m. in Boettcher Concert Hall, 1000 14th St., Denver, ( in the Performing Arts Complex), the symphony will celebrate the great scores of video games, superheroes and more — including pieces from "Game of Thrones," "Star Trek" and "Doctor Who."
Best part? Cosplay is encouraged.
Info: Saturday at 7:30 p.m.; coloradosymphony.org; $25+
Follow Christy: twitter.com/fantzypants