***Correction: This artical originally misstated that the Yawpers are playing the Lazy Dog on Saturday; they are in Fort Collins that night.
Let's face it. Being a student rocks.
Sweatpants are accepted attire, like, most of the time. You still believe you'll grow out of your "bad habits." (You won't.) Weight gained is far easier to lose. Go ahead. Keep eating that burrito. It'll all be OK.
It's expected you'll drink Wednesday through Sunday, and it isn't sad ... yet.
Your idiocy is OK, because "you're still a kid." Cue the all-night boozing and "I can finish that paper in an hour" justifications.
"Breaks" are still good things, to quote a TV show. Fall break, for instance. Far better than the "break-downs" of mid-20s.
And from what I hear, y'all are packing your bags and getting your last-minute keg stands outta the way before heading home to, "Isn't that shirt a little low-cut?"and sleeping with childhood stuffed animals until 1 p.m.
So how about you surprise the parents by bringing along booze that'll actually impress them? And no, I don't mean Coors instead of Keystone.
Liquor Mart (1750 15th St.) is hosting a Turkey Wine Tasting Friday, ready to give you the knowledge of good wines for your holiday meal. Boring, you say? Then you've never been wine drunk. Awesome ... until it knocks you out faster than NyQuil.
For serious. The folks at Liquor Mart will be pouring wines that'll compliment mom's cooking, and beers/spirits for dad and that odd uncle who doesn't know when to stop. Head over from 4 to 6 p.m. and get educated, the fun way. The good times will continue Saturday from 3 to 5 p.m., with a wine pairings tasting. Conundrum Whites and Reds, along with the Belle Glos Meiomi Pinot Noir. (I don't know. I shop exclusively by bottle-prettiness.)
Hazels Beverage World (1955 28th St.) has more vino for you, too. Like on Friday, when the staff will pour drinks from Spain and Portugal from 4 to 7 p.m. Or Saturday, when you can try a taste of Jagermeister's new spiced concoction. Try it from 1 to 6 p.m.
More to be thankful for can be found even closer to home. The Connection in the University Memorial Center (1669 Euclid Ave.) is hosting a Turkey Bowl from 5 p.m. to close, Thursday and Friday, the staff is challenging you to bowl a turkey.
That's three strikes in a row, fool. Not you chucking a disoriented bird down a lane.
Anyway, if you get that elusive turkey — again, three strikes in a row — you'll get a free Subway sandwich. Just let the folks at The Connection know when you do.
There's also a billiard tourney on Thursday night. Good for you folks used to handling smaller balls. And this time, you get to use a long stick. Check out The Connection front desk for info. It all begins at 7 p.m.
Finally. A movie. And while "Thor 2" was pretty sa-weet, and I'll need to see the new "Hunger Games" soon, I'm talking a more educational time.
From Thursday to Saturday at the Dairy Center for the Arts (2590 Walnut St.), you can check out "The Trials of Muhammad Ali," a film about the famed fighter's battle to overturn a prison sentence after he refused military service in Vietnam. A blend of sports (ish) and history, in what looks like a great film. Go to thedairy.org for info.
I've got more stuff for you, click away from the porn and head to coloradodaily.com.
Those Buffaloes are playing this weekend. All the sports, actually. Men's basketball faces off with New Mexico this Saturday at 1 p.m., and your footballers are hosting the USC Trojans here in Boulder. Nice. The town's here to get you PUMPED.
Like the Pearl Street Stampede, at 7 p.m. Friday, rocking the black and gold all around town. Or West End Tavern offering you a ride too and from the game, along with awesome game-day deals. Even places like The Goose (1301 Broadway) has specials ranging from $1 draft beer to two-for-one vodkas and whiskeys. With every score on that football field, more specials will happen.
More into the food? Well The Alferd Packer Restaurant and Grill (1669 Euclid Ave.) in the UMC has game-day brats coated in greasy goodness. From 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, get a brat, chips and a drink for $5.99. Two bucks more scores you another brat. Baby Doe's Coffee and Bakery is also open from 11:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. on game day, ready to give you the pick-me-up you need before watching the ... fun at Folsom.
See? More reasons to be a student. All the school-oriented shenanigans and a reason to be loud and obnoxious in public.
Should you be in search of just good music with good people, I've got a few suggestions.
Tallgrass will be playing at Mountain Sun Pub and Brewery (1535 Pearl St.) for a Bluegrass Explosion. Yea. Explosion. Get blown away at 10 p.m. Sunday.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.