Rihanna wouldn’t be caught with her weave undone.
Rihanna wouldn't be caught with her weave undone. (Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images)

Rihanna told Vogue magazine that she keeps her hairstylists on hand all the time.

"I have two main hair people I work with. They're always with me. I'm like, 'I'm bored! I wanna change my hair!' That's the good thing about a weave. You can do whatever with it."

So, at the drop of a toupee, Rihanna just pulls her stylists out of her purse so she can re-glue that weave in when it gets caught in some controversy.

Or a joint. Or Drake's zipper.

What a spoiled mop. I can't even brush my own fuzz, let alone wash it.

I mean...

Taming Twitter

Pals, we need to get out more.

Twitter accounts for Bob Costa's pinkeye, U.S. figure skater Jason Brown's bronytail, Tom Selleck's mustache, Kim Kardashian's cellulite...

Jessica Biel is opening a family-friendly restaurant.
Jessica Biel is opening a family-friendly restaurant. (Evan Agostini / Invision)

Remove the finger from the tablet. Place it in a bottle of whiskey. Let's face time. (Not the Apple trademarked kind.) After that you can create a Twitter account for your whiskey finger.

Disperse. Quickly, now.

Sugar high

Mrs. JT (Jessica Biel) is opening a dessert restaurant for kids in Santa Monica, Calif., called Au Fudge.

Oh, fudge. We've got a bunch of spoiled celebrity toddlers in Chanel banging their brains against the booths after they plow through pounds of sugar.

And we just thought it was Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber who got into a six-pack of wine coolers.

Lohan on the tube


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Lindsay Lohan's eight-part reality series, "Lindsay," is premiering on Oprah's OWN network on March 9 in an "honest, no-holds-barred account," documenting the 27 year old's life.

What? Network?

Yeah. We don't care.

Posh, deflated

Speaking of the Mrs., David Beckham's plastic half, Victoria, told Allure magazine that she had her breast implants removed.

"I think I may have purchased them," she said in the interview, "or they got removed, one or the other."

Posh, your boobs deflated!
Posh, your boobs deflated! (John Shearer / Getty Images)

Um. What?

Meanwhile, David Beckham is lounging in a tattoo chair somewhere, shrugging his shoulders and getting, "My wive is hot" inked into a tramp stamp. It'll match his other misspelled tattoo.

They make Ginger Spice look smart.

Hough does she do it?

Actress/dancer/Ryan Seacrest closet-keeper Julianne Hough told Self magazine that she had hoped to stay single for an entire year. Alas, she can't.

Poor little rich girl.

"I'm just loving life on my own with my own two feet on the ground," she said in an interview with the magazine.

And by on the ground, she means in the air, screaming (insert pansy's name here).

Sheen and a porn star

Charlie Sheen is engaged to a porn star. Of course he is.
Charlie Sheen is engaged to a porn star. Of course he is. (Kevin Scanlon / Associated Press)

Charlie Sheen is going after a 24-year-old porn star for wedding No. 4.

The 48-year-old actor proposed on Valentine's Day weekend to Brett Rossi.

"He even was a gentleman and got down on one knee," she told E! News. (That's what it says in the men's room.) "I was not expecting it at all."

That's because the only question she did expect out of him was: So when can I put my (fill in the blank) inside your (Mad Libs are fun!)?

Another Wentz

Avril Lavigne is pregnant again!

Oops. That's Pete Wentz.

Will his new baby come out with makeup on? Like father, like spawn.

Anyway, his girlfriend, a "model," Meagan Camper, is with child. This fetus will add to Wentz's family as he has a first kid, Bronx, from that one broad who lipsynched on SNL that one time. (Ashlee Simpson, layfolk.)

Anyway, he and his new catch have been dating three years and want to get married and blah, blah...

(Note to Fantz: After you get your soul out of the whiskey bottle, make a Twitter for Pete Wentz's eyeliner...)

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Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz