The online boozy publication, Denver off the Wagon, has turned 3, so the cyber rag is celebrating with booze.
When I turned 3, I got a striped knit blankie from Mommy and Pop, which is now a burned-up ball of cotton after catching fire up against a conversion van's plastic light. I still spoon it, so hopefully in a ripe 18 years, Denver off the Wagon will still be spooning booze when it turns 21.
The Wagon will be celebrating with a beer crawl and an unveiling of a new French saison, Circle the Wagons, it released in conjunction with TRVE Brewing Company.
The crawl begins at 2 p.m. Saturday at Black Shirt Brewing Co., 3719 Walnut St., Denver, and will work its way down to the Star Bar, 2137 Larimer St., Denver, by 7 p.m. If you can't make it early, follow them on Twitter (twitter.com/denverwagon) to catch up. There will be discounts for the crawlers with wristbands at each stop.
As all good boozers know, food stops will be made throughout the day. Don't frown upon padding your gut, it will hug you Sunday morning when your head is still on your pillow and not dipped in toilet water.
Hate the Oscars? You would.
Join other non-film snobs for a bad film fest at PBBT — Golden Raspberry Party for the worst films of 2013. (PBBT is that noise you make when you stick your tongue out and blow. Not that way, pervert.)
Friday night at 8, at the Sie FilmCenter, 2510 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, the Reel Social Club will be screening some real tankers on various screens, like "The Lone Ranger" and "Grown Ups 2," among others. Meanwhile, there will be beer pong, drunk bingo and other games while bartenders whip up raspberry-inspired beverages.
Info: denverfilm.org; $25; buy a four-pack of tickets and get $5 off each one; event is 21 and over.
If you haven't seen Christopher Guest's "Best in Show," stop everything right bloody now and rent it.
Rent it. What does that even mean, old bitch? Fine. Download it. Beam it up, Scotty. Whatever you kids do these days.
Then head to Wings Over the Rockies Air and Space Museum, 7711 East Academy Blvd., Denver (over yonder in Lowry), on Saturday from 1-6 p.m. for Worst in Show. Aside from doggie categories for cutest, look-alike, haircut, most drool, special talent and worst in show, the event — and fundraiser for Freedom Service Dogs — will have food sampling and a silent auction. Note: Don't bring your own fur pal. This is a human-only event (minus the fuzzies in the show).
And remember, like Eugene Levy, the uglier, the better. Aw. Hugs, Genie. We'd totally bang you.
Info: freedomservicedogs.org; $25
Tonight, the Arvada Tavern, 5707 Olde Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, is hosing the LUPEC Sweetheart Prom, in support of The Prom Dress Exchange, a program that provides formal duds for high schoolers who can't afford to attend prom. LUPEC (Ladies United for the Preservation of Endangered Cocktails, um, awesome) will be donating cash and clothing.
Prom is Saturday at 7 p.m. and in true speakeasy fashion, enter through an old-school phone booth to reach the prom, which will be complete with a photo booth, a king and queen and corsages.
Info: facebook.com/denverLUPEC; $5 donation
Denver Restaurant Week, where the suburbanites litter downtown, tip over-labored servers a mere 15 percent and get their cars booted from that one Rockies game last summer.
Um. I mean, Denver Restaurant Week begins on Saturday. Yippee!
If you don't eat out a lot in Denver, now is your time to head down to that fine establishment you couldn't otherwise afford. The week runs through Feb. 28 and features special prix-fixe menus for one and two. Most restaurants participate and offer multi-course $60-for-two and $30-for-one deals.
Check out denver.org/denverrestaurant for the list and menus for participating joints.
Follow Christy: Twitter.com/FantzyPants