Top o' tha foreskin to ya!

Um. Morning. Whatever.

It's St. Paddy's weekend, and that means your liver will rise up and punch you in the face on Tuesday (because actual St. Paddy's is on Monday), but until then, let's rage like it's AD 399. Or at least happy hour in Ireland.

There's the obvious, gigantic Denver parade on Saturday, starting at 9:30 a.m., which is putting close par with the likes of Boston, Chicago and Savannah. The parade, which circles downtown near the Ballpark neighborhood, will be soaking in a high of 52 degrees (although there is a chance of rain/snow showers in the afternoon). Downtown will be a raging, out of control party, so take the bus. It's free with your college ID, you don't have to worry about parking and you can drink, most importantly. There will be DUI checkpoints, as usual. Don't be dumb.

Christy Fantz
Christy Fantz (Craig F. Walker / The Denver Post)

Downtown happenings:

Fado Irish Pub, 1735 19th St., Denver, is hosting Denver's biggest party — you'll see the big ol' tents just west of Coors Field. The bar is hosting numerous bands, Irish dancers, bagpipers, dancing and booze all the way up through Monday. fadoirishpub.com/denver; tickets start at $15.

Luck of the Irish St. Patrick's Day PubCrawl, is a three-day event (Friday-Monday) where participants will get a wristband to get you in free to the participating venues. The crawl starts at 1515 Restaurant, 1515 Market St., Denver, where you'll get a map of the crawl. Some of the listed bars are: The Spill, Zanzibar Billiards and El Chapultepec. More will be listed day of. PubCrawls.com; 855-851-0399; $25 (plus fees).

ShamRocks St. Patrick's Day Party, on Saturday at The Curtis Hotel, 1405 Curtis St., Denver, from noon-5 p.m., is hosting a party with all-you-can-drink beer (and a cash bar), all-you-can-eat wings a French fry bar, a signature mug, live tunes from Dirty Femmes and RobDrabkin, plus DJ Rockstar Aaron will be spinning Irish tunes. thecurtis.com; $45 (plus fees)

St. Paddy's Denver Pub Crawl on South Broadway starts Saturday at 11 a.m. and gives you a chance to avoid the craziness of downtown. The crawl attendees can buy a $20 crawl T-shirt (the crawl printed on the back, in case you get lost, you drunkard). The crawl starts at Sobo 151, 151 S. Broadway St., Denver, and hits 3 Kings Tavern, Irish Rover, Sputnik, Dogherty's, The Hornet and Punch Bowl. bit.ly/1hgI3UB; $10-$20

Dougherty's Street Party, 5 E. Ellsworth Ave., Denver, will be raging on Saturday and Sunday and will have dancing in the streets with live tunes, bagpipers and entertainment. Oh, and no cover. A St. Paddy's party at an Irish pub with no cover? They win.

Other awesome pubs: Scruffy Murphy's, 2030 Larimer St., Denver, will have shenanigans galore. Check out rebel rockers Sixtysixdays, on tap from 10 p.m.-close. Plus, there's no cover charge. The Irish Snug, 1201 E Colfax Ave., Denver, will host its 10th annual Capitol Hill Hooley. Get out of downtown and party in Cap Hill.

March madness

Enough of this green shit, let's get to basketball.

Sunday is Selection Sunday, which will then lead into our wonderful world of bracketology. The Star Bar, 2137 Larimer St., Denver, is hosting a viewing party on Sunday at 3:30 p.m. Watch as the 68 seed teams are placed in the brackets while you drink beer, do shots and avoid the green vomit.

Also! That cash-sucking billionaire Warren Buffett (kisses) is again betting $1 billion (BILLION) that you can't submit a perfect bracket. So don't forget to register here: quickenloansbracket.com and if you win, I'll pinch your tushy for a cool $10 grand.

Oh and P.S., the Florida Gators are No. 1. YEAH. Go Gators. (Look, I'm still a hardcore Buff, too.)

 

 

Soccer lovers

To all you soccer lovers, i.e. futbol, European football, etc., The British Bulldog, 2052 Stout St., Denver, is hosting a Bikes & Beers crawl on Saturday at 10 a.m.

The party will start with pints and mimosas at the Bulldog, where they will be showing the English Premier League game Chelsea vs. Aston Villa. From there, the party will bike to William's Tavern, 423 East 17th Ave., Denver, then on to Three Lions, 2239 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, where you can catch the Colorado Rapids season opener vs. New York Red Bulls.

It's your chance to check out Denver's favorite soccer pubs. Note: Early birds get the swag. Be one of the first to buy a drink at the Bulldog and win Rapids memorabilia. The crawl is free: denvercoedsoccer.tk

Contact Christy Fantz at 303-473-1107. On Twitter: twitter.com/fantzypants