'You are funny but self-conscious person, hopelessly neurotic. You are successful, smart, liberal and a bit of a nerd."
Whoa. It's like this "Which '30 Rock' character are you?" online quiz is looking into my heart — and can maybe see I have mustard from lunch still smeared on my face.
Obviously, I'm a Liz Lemon, but there's a small part of me that wishes I was a bit more Tracy Jordan, the character who once advised, "Live every week like it's Shark Week."
For Tracy Jordan fans, though, this weekend could be shark-level excited as comedian Tracy Morgan — who often seems as whackadoo as his "30 Rock" character — takes the stage on 8 p.m. Sunday at the Paramount Theatre, 1621 Glenarm Place. The TV and movie star is in town with his "Turn it Funny" tour, and tickets are $35. For info, visit paramountdenver.com.
More with the funny
Not a shark, per se, but only a step down on the comedy-fame food chain (a barracuda or sting ray, perhaps?), comedian Andy Kindler is performing Friday at 8 p.m. at the Oriental Theater, 4335 W. 44th Ave. If the name doesn't ring a bell, you'll recognize his voice from "Bob's Burgers" and his bespectacled face from "Everybody Loves Raymond" and many a "Late Show" appearance.
Kindler's performance is a celebration of the six-month anniversary of local promoter Sexpot Comedy, who should be given kudos for their name as well as for bringing more comedy talent to town. Tickets are $20. Info at theorientaltheater.com.
Art on the street. Literally.
As in, look down, because amazingly talented people are crafting works of art on the sidewalks of Larimer Square during the Denver Chalk Art Festival. More than 150 amateur and professional artists are making the streets their canvas from 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sunday. Drawn completely in chalk, you can enjoy landscapes, portraits, replicas of classic artwork, and those trippy, hyper-realistic 3D creations that make you feel like you could fall through the pavement into another world.
Not only do the streets come alive with museum-quality work, the public gets to see that art come together chalk stroke by chalk stroke. Also featuring live music, vendors and refreshments, the festival is free, but throw a few bucks in the artists' collection hats if you can. Chalk doesn't grow on trees.
More information online at denverchalkart.com. Check out the site's gallery of featured artists for a sneak peak of the talent involved.
Fly through the air with the greatest of ease
Wow, oh wow, have aerial acrobatics progressed so far past the simple flying trapeze. At the Aerial Acrobatic Arts Festival at the King Center, 855 Lawrence Way, Friday and Saturday, 16 of the country's best aerialists will compete in hoop, strap and silk categories in addition to that simple (but really not) trapeze. We're talking full-out Cirque du Soleil acrobatics here, and some Cirque and Ringling Brothers veterans will be on the judging panel.
The competitive performances start at 7 p.m. both nights, and tickets are $35. However, there are also workshops for those wanting to learn the ropes — and hoops and silks — all weekend. For more info, visit aerialartsfestdenver.com.
So it's 1920s Paris instead of 11th Century Scotland. The main character is a painter rather than a noble/warlord, and she prefers to be called Beth instead of Macbeth. Oh, and the rest of the cast of this unique re-imagining of the classic tragedy? Also all female. Out, out, damn men!
Joking aside, "Beth" has been getting good reviews and extended their run of the show through June 7 at the Betsy Stage, 1133 S. Huron St. Reservations are required. The show itself is free, though donations are encouraged. For more info or to make reservations, visit betsystage.com.
Steampunk musical mayhem
Things to expect at an Abney Park concert, like the one tomorrow at 9 p.m. at the Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave.: clockwork guitars, Tesla-powered keyboards, belly dancers, corsets and swashbuckling. Oh, and music of course.
Steampunk band Abney Park's concerts are often described as stage productions rather than musical events, and they put on a great show. In terms of genre, the music is industrial rock, but with lyrics about air-ship pirates and blunderbusses. (Blunderbi?)
Tickets are $18.50 if you snag them today or $22 day of show, and you can buy them via bluebirdtheater.net.
It's going to be epic
Tonight, The Lobby restaurant and bar at 2191 Arapahoe St. is hosting one of their summer Adult Daycare events, this time themed as an EPIC Crawfish Boil. The caps are theirs, because they are SUPER EXCITED about crustaceans as well as the evening's sponsor, Epic Brewing Company.
For $40, chill on the restaurant's patio with a family style, all-you-can-eat seafood boil with crawfish, mussels and clams, as well as three paired Epic beers. That's three 9-ounce beers, which along with all that seafood, makes the price tag quite reasonable for the amount of fun involved. More info at thelobbydenver.com, and tickets available at events.imbibedenver.com.