A few weeks ago, my friend and I tried out Ladies Night for the first time.
Our motivation? To get all dolled up and to see if we could start a trend of mid-week drinking because that's what "awesome single bitches" do, as she calls us.
We learned a lot. Like how, if you're sipping on your Solo cup-sized freebie in the bar's entrance, wearing a dress your mom probably wouldn't approve of, keep your legs crossed.
While flirting, try to actually remain on the stool (rather than sliding off and then sitting on the ground, laughing like a tot). Of course, I can't comment on her moves. My giant, gauze-covered toe was my only convo starter the other night. A story for another time.
Oh, we learned Ladies Night is actually code for "all the drunk men offering drinks to women getting them for free" night. Not as chivalrous as you'd think, guys.
It was a Dane Cook joke come to life in all the fun ways, accidentally walking into the woofer and being the gender minority (for once) at the bars. Believe it or not, folks, we women really do say, "f*ck guys," sometimes. We just wanna dance and drink well liquor for freesies.
Feel the same? Then head over to Bohemian Biergarten (2017 13th St.) Thursday night. Starting at 9:30 p.m., folks there are hosting their "Just Wanna Dance 2: Summer Fling Dance Party."
Go Go dancers from Boulder Spirals will "seduce you in the crowd," they tout, and DJ Brookstar will bring you dance anthems and progressive house music that'll get the booty bouncing. Seriously, we all just wanna dance. Check it out.
Looking to burn calories without all the grinding and liquor? Get limber, instead, and head over to the Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art (1750 13th St.) It's the Summer Games III: Games Super Finale from 6 to 8:30 p.m. this Thursday.
So find that sweet shirt you made in the first round and get ready for volleyball and dodgeball (all on the same court), bocci ball, cornhole and croquet. It's basically all the summer fun you can have. Check out bmoca.org for all the details, but trust me. It's a grand way to get the Vitamin D.
You'll clearly be thirsty from all this action, though, so be sure to head over to Upslope Brewing (1898 Flatiron Ct.) Thursday for International #IPADay. They'll have seven different IPAs on tap all ready to skunkify your mouths for the rest of the night.
Again with the festivals ... Downtown, the 1300 block of Pearl Street will be taken over by all things Asian Saturday and Sunday. it's the Boulder Asian Festival, ready to educate your booze-soaked minds of the Asian, Hawaiian and Pacific Island cultures.
Slated activities? Free morning yoga on Saturday at 10 a.m. Food from Himalayas Restaurant and Da Hawaiian Kitchen. Music by traditional artists like Wendy Woo and Gamelan Tunas Mekar. Oh, and a community tent that'll have crafts and dance lessons and all that.
Oh, and just because ... I believe Fate Brewing (1600 38th St.) folks would love it if you'd stop by and try out their Black Wit, full of bitter orange and cardamom flavors. Yea ... go check that out.
And then head over to the Boulder Outdoor Cinema (1750 13th St.) for "Zombieland" Saturday at dusk. You'll get helpful tips to surviving the apocalypse, while ogling either Harrelson or Stone. Your choice.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.