You know it's not the greatest idea to:

Ski glaciers at the end of August. You usually like blue runs.

Attempt three routes on the Diamond in 24 hours. You've never climbed a pitch on it.

Ride your bike to Winter Park and back. The longest ride you've ever done is Walker Ranch.

But you know that if you manage to pull it off, it will be totally sick. And this is Boulder. People do sick stuff all the time.

Now you just need a few partners for the journey. Try these five ways to propel your smarter friends into and through your last (ever?!?) foolish summer adventure:

1. Have talking points

When introducing your crazy idea to your friends, emphasize the coolness factor and be flippant: "Whatevs, bra, we can totally do this, I mean, whatever, it's gonna be sick."

Note the vagaries. Messy details will remind your sensible friends that this is a bad idea. Vague it up and stick to your talking points: "whatevs" and "sick."

2. "The weather will hold."

You're on the big climb. Black clouds are rolling in. You and Emily are still soaked from the morning downpour.

Thunder. Emily wants to bail.

Repeat the following: "The weather will hold. We're almost there."

You're not almost there. But you can keep saying this for a long time -- until you're scarfing a shit-sandwich of wet rock and continuous lightning.


3. Use kitch

If the group has come to a halt for bad weather, crushing fear or certain death ahead, then fake a smile and bust out a kitchy phrase:

"We can't stop now!"

"It can't get any worse!"

"You're my BFF!"

(That last one will only work on someone who is crying. And lonely.)

4. Get mean

You're only halfway to Winter Park. You've had two flats and forgot your headlamp. It's dusk. Bob wants to turn back.

Time to resort to name calling and smack.

Classics like "I never thought you'd puss out in the gnar" are timeless, but use intimate details to personalize the insults. For example, if Bob just had a bad break-up, say: "Janey was right -- you can't commit." This will sting enough to keep him pedaling (at you, with a knife).

He'll thank you later.

5. Throw a tantrum

Behaving like a 2-year-old is a last-ditch effort at preventing bailing. It could result in mutiny, but when you're kicking and screaming in a talus field because your friends rightly want to bail, you've proven that you don't care about human relationships, anyway.

Whatever. Sick.