At age 7, we'd plead for a slumber party complete with cartoon-themed party favors, toys and a karaoke-style dance party. (Course, in my day that meant Backstreet Boys, not twerking to Miley...)
Teens? More like a movie, pizza and gossip ... pranks, truth or dare and late-night walks around the neighborhood because you're "bad ass" like that.
But a birthday past 25? "Ugh," my friend said. "I just want beer."
So for the first anniversary of her 25th, we brewery-hopped, complete with chatting up our tour leaders, lining up flights and licking our temp tattoos on — because we're too lazy to get a rag.
And with the great exodus that is college kids heading home for the holidays — say hi to the parents from your friendly, neighborhood beer lady — brewery hopping may be all we have left that isn't coated in nativity scenes or creepy Santa faces.
(Coincidentally, we ran into Santa not once, but twice, with a whole flock of slutty elf girls. Nice, Mr. Claus... very nice...)
So go ahead. Embrace the beer. It always goes down smooth. (That's what he said, right before he never got it again.)
If you're like me and shopping at the last minute for gifts, because procrastination is your life's blood, you'll be swarming Pearl Street this week. Well, West Flanders (1125 Pearl St.) brewers just put out their Obfuscation Trippel (say that four beers in), which is described as "creamy, lace-producing head" (say whaaa?) with "fruit and candy aromas." Yum.
Meanwhile, over at Twisted Pine Brewing, that giving mood is wanted, bt dubs. Folks there are hosting Emergency Family Assistance Associate benefit, where profits after a night of beer pong, quarters and boozing will go to the EFAA. Oh, and if you bring three cans of food, you'll get a free pint in return. Get your ass to the taproom (3201 Walnut St.) from 6 to 9 p.m. Thursday.
So let's say drinking beer doesn't get you silly enough. (Not a problem in my group. We tend to laugh at nothing for ages and then just smile stupid like the drunks we are.) But if you're in need of exterior chuckles, look no further than Bohemian Biergarten (2017 13th St.). This Sunday at 7 p.m., Boulder Comedy Show is hosting Dr. Kevin Fitzgerald, a Denver man known for his Animal Planet show and Comedy Works shows. Bobby Crane and Kevin O'Brien, among others, will join him for a night of FREE laughs.
OK OK, I'm done with beer. Let's move to bikes, the things this girl still can't ride.
The Dairy Center for the Arts (2590 Walnut St.) is the place to be. Like for "Bicycle Men: A Musical," a tale about an American cyclist stuck in a French village as he waits for his bike to be repaired. The residents lead him on a night to remember, and a show you'll want to catch Friday through Sunday.
Or you can catch "Wadjda," a Saudi Arabian film (the first feature film to be made by a female Saudi filmmaker) about a girl competing for a chance to buy the bike of her dreams. The film is screening Thursday through Saturday.
ALL THE BIKES. Bike Art at the Dairy is back through Jan. 17, and features nearly 500 submitted works of art all meant to celebrate the bicycle. Check out thedairy.org for a list of events and such for this exhibit, as well as for tickets and showtimes for the aforementioned awesome events.
Avery Brewing (5763 Arapahoe Ave.) staffers have a treat. The return of Mephistopheles Stout, a 15-17 percent ABV brew they say is velvety, liqueur-ish and full of dark-fruit flavor. They vote you pair it with chocolate cake, just to amp up the richness.
As my birthday girl said this weekend, once you go black ...
FATE Brewing (1600 38th St.) staffers, too, have a rich holiday pint for you. They released their Chocolate Mint Stout on Wednesday and might have some left. If not, never fear. All their beers rock, and they're doling out growlers and merch like crazy for that booze-loving friend or crazy uncle for Christmas.
Or you can try the F
oreign Style Stout Upslope (1501 Lee Hill Road No. 20) brewers unleashed Wednesday. Perfect for the chilly-willy weather we're allegedly getting this weekend. (I'm stubbornly hoping for more 60s.)
P.S.: If you head to bocodeals.com and go down (wanky), you'll find a deal for J Wells Brewery (2516 49th St. #5). You'll get two flights and two pints for $10. Grab a friend and sample all the brewers have to offer.