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T he end of the world. It's here. AKA: The most annoying thing cycling around the internet. I argue things are looking up, not ending. I mean, "Jersey Shore" is finally off the air. Good things are happening.
Perhaps all this doomsday talk has gotten to me though, and can be blamed for my utter lack of Christmas shopping thus far. Last-minute, whatever-I-can-find gifts, here I come.
And despite my friend's holiday cheer explosion in my previously Grinchy home, I'm just not feeling it. Accident prone to say the least, all this snow and winter weather has made me even slower. Twenty steps to every average one attempting to avoid the inevitable fall just makes me look like a fool.
But enough with the sad-sack and on to what makes the holidays bright. No, not that Christmas cheer crap. I'm talking booze.
And West End is helping me out.
Because despite my Debby Downer stance on snow, they've got an incentive that would even get me out into that white stuff.
Their W.E.T. snow specials.
Freezing condensation equals discounts, granting us all the gift of $3 Avery Ellie's Brown and $5 Not Your Grandma's Bourbon and Ginger. (That's a mouthful. And that's what he'd hope she said.)
So while it's tempting to snuggle up in bed with spiked hot tea and a book -- or wait, maybe that's just me -- get those boots and shovel out the car. $4 cookie sundaes and loaded fries aren't going to eat themselves.
Plus, the tavern's unleashing its happy hour every Friday and Saturday night.
From 10 to 11 p.m., draft beers, well drinks and specialty cocktails come down in price and therefore slide down the throat at a much faster rate.
Sneak out of that Pearl Street crowd and hit up a festive late-night booze bargain.
Info: W.E.T. snow specials (whenever snow is falling) and late night happy hour from 10-11 p.m. at West End Tavern, 926 Pearl Street
Feel the heat on Christmas
More in the spirit is Twisted Pine Brewery and their Twelve Days of Twistmas.
On the fifth day (Friday), they've got 5-chili pepper Billy's Chilies on sale for $7 per four pack.
The 4th? A discount of 20 percent off the four-cookie and four-beer taster pairing. Sweet and stout-y. Dessert and a draft. Ok, I'll stop.
And Sunday's 3rd day: $3 pints.
That's a whole lot of seasonal goodness, folks.
I'll even give you a teaser to the grand finale. All-day happy hour on Christmas. Perfect way to escape the "joys" of all that family time, eh?
Info: Twelve Days of Twistmas at Twisted Pine Brewing Company, 3201 Walnut Street.
So here's to a weekend of debauchery. If the world's still here, that is.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.