There I am, standing in the clearance aisle at Target the other day thinking, "I need a new, nicer, grown-up wallet." My winners from high school are a bit old, and I figure it's time to class it up.
Then I see it.
Bright yellow wallet. Owl on the front. WITH a mustache.
"I NEED this," I mutter. The 40-something and teeny-bopper nearby didn't seem to understand. But those big ol' mustaches, they're pretty sweet. Add 'em to anything and watch your night get better.
Like two Halloweens ago. Adding those fake mustaches to our Jazzercise outfits make every stretch better ... really added to the neon tight ensemble. Or smack 'em on your TV set and drink each time it lines up with someone's face. Talk about lazy shwasty afternoons.
BRU Handbuilt Ales (5290 Arapahoe Ave.) gets it.
This Saturday, they're hosting their Steins and Staches night in honor of the Great American Beer Festival (which is Oct. 10-12 in Denver). Bring in your own stein (any size will do) and get it filled with select ales for $8. They mean any size, folks, so the more ambitious, the more interesting your night's destined to be.
Then, at 7 p.m., compete in the "Best Stache in Boulder" competition. Quality facial hair will win a $25 BRU certificate. Second place, a BRU pint glass and beer. Third, well, just a beer.
Course, they're not done there. Thursday night there's German Night, where you dress you and your growler (AKA. your hot date) in lederhosen and nab prizes for the best costumes.
Friday, if you show 'em your ticket to GABF, you'll get a beer on the house. And Sunday, they'll tap their Belgian-style imperial stout for your sipping pleasure at 3 p.m. Check bruboulder.com for the rest of the week's lineup.
Don't fret about the potentially worsening beer gut, though. The Dairy Center (2590 Walnut St.) has a Thursday night comedy set to help you laugh away the calories. Nab tickets at thedairy.org for a night with Greg Baumhauer, Chris Charpentier, Tim Messenger, James Gold and a bunch of hearty chuckles. It all starts at 8 p.m.
Even more on-stage action continues Thursday night with ONE ACT, a fully improvised one-act play that flows from an audience suggestion. Talk about a rush. I can't even come up with quippy comebacks in basic social interactions, let alone a full play. But these folks, they're just that good. Be a part of that process at the East Theatre at 8 p.m.
•This Friday, Absinthe House (1109 Walnut St.) has some escalation happening. Hit the bar at 8 p.m., and all well drinks are $.50. Every half hour after, they rise by $.50. So ...I suppose it's the early bird that gets sauced.
•For all you adventurous types out there (AKA: folks who don't cry like a little child whenever a spider crawls across a wall or while hiking a fourteener... don't judge me), Boulder Theater and other venues are hosting the 2013 Adventure Film Festival Thursday through Saturday. Presented by Patagonia and Flatirons Subaru (oh Boulder and your Subarus ...), this festival has 33 award-winning outdoor and environmental films to really stretch your mind. A full line-up of pre-fest activities, giveaways and special appearances can be found at adventurefilm.org.
•Going to the Buffs game Saturday? Well that's nice. But should you be of the age to be imbibing, I vote you take the safe route getting there. One that begins and ends with delicious liquors and beers. FATE Brewing (1600 38th St.), for example, has free pedicabs lined up to get you to Folsom and back. Just reserve a spot and you'll ride in style. Or hey, West End Tavern (926 Pearl St.) has shuttles that'll get you there and back, and sweet game-day deals for when you need to celebrate/mourn post-game. (Hey, Oregon's tough ...)
•Oh, and all that Buffalo pride's hitting the Pearl Street
Stampede Friday night. The rally's set to power through at 7 p.m.
•An avid book lover and admittedly huge nerd, I'm signed up to the Boulder Library's email list. And because of this, I know they're showing "Casablanca" at 1 p.m. on Sunday (1001 Arapahoe Ave.). This may not seem like the biggest party ever, but it's a classic movie worth seeing, and a great way to spend a lazy afternoon.
•Have some pent-up energy by Sunday? Impressive. I vote you use it to strut your stuff at BOMBA! Feel Puerto Rico at 3:30 p.m. on the 1300 block of Pearl Street. The city and Barrio E' have a free performance celebrating Puerto Rican heritage.
•I'm breaking some rules here and giving a sneak preview on how to shake that case of the Mondays you're bound to have after all these glorious events. Get your own flair on, as it were. The Bohemian Biergarten (2017 13th St.) has teamed up with the Boulder Outdoor Cinema for the month, lining up a bunch of films and drink specials. This Monday's "Inglorious Basterds." Those smart enough to go will snag beer 'n' popcorn, play some trivia and potentially win all the prizes. Doors open at 7 p.m.
•And just because I can, I must tell you. There's a Star Wars Reads Day at the Boulder Book Store (1107 Pearl St). Essentially a day for all you fans to dress up, play games, compete in trivia wars and nab prizes and snackage. Such a glorious thing to exist. Let the force guide you at 4 p.m. Saturday.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.