Dear Christy,

Have you heard of that cannabis lube for the ladies' special part? I've read that the TCH-infused oil gives big orgasms, all while giving the user an internal high. I'd be interested in your opinion on this product.

—Stoned sex

High five:

So we're getting high via vagina, then.

Interesting. Tell us more.

(Are we done with passing that good, old-fashioned blunt these days? Cuss, I'm getting old.)

I suppose in light of legal weed, the market is, and will continue to, explode with all sorts of products that pack a euphoric punch. (Punch. More like limp-wristed poke. Stoners.)

christy fantz
Christy Fantz

This whole weed revolution is creating a Home Ec class for the baked. "I want to rub weed on my privates," I imagine this stoned entrepreneur said. Then, this go-getter blended up some Vasoline and keef in a Magic Bullet, slapped the concoction on his/her privates and got "Shark Tank" on the horn.

Look, we're all entrepreneurs now, govna. Call the high school newsletter.

So, I guess if you're into rubbing oil onto your lady package until you achieve climax, then riding it out with an intense body high... wait, where do we buy this shit?

I guess my opinion is interested. Will my muff get the munchies?

¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!

Dear Christy,


I'm in love with my best friend, but I'm afraid he'll never have me. I hate when he dates other girls. But, I can't say anything because I'm just "the friend." We've have been for years. I'd really like to make a move, but am afraid of rejection.

—Best friends forever

Just a friend:

To be blunt, as close as you two seemingly are, if there was a spark, you'd probably know by now.

And since you think he'll never "have you" (how's your 18th century prose), if you do make a move, then be prepared: to be rejected; to have an awkward conversation; to have the friendship change; to soil your drawers.

Sure there's always that whisper of hope he'll pull you in by the waist, brush your hair off your glossed lips, cup the back of your head and then dry hump you like a rabid monkey. But, it's safe for you to prepare for the alternative.

So, sure, you can try.

But, if you remain on the friend level, remember to still be just that — if you want to be in his life, you have to be supportive on all levels, including his horizontal one.

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