Twisted Pine Brewery, 3201 Walnut St.:
Celebrate women in brewing industry with free lecture and tour, hosted by Reva Golden at 3 p.m. March 20. Buy the first pint at $5 and keep the pint, all day.
Eat a 10-inch cheese pizza with Ghost Peppers and drink a Ghost Face Killah in 5 minutes on March 22 for a GFK T-shirt and a photo on the Wall of Fame.
West Flanders Brewing, 1125 Pearl St.:
Boulder New Brew Crew Tasting. Tickets are $20, and include a three-hour tasting and tulip glass. Proceeds go to Community Food Share. Tasting includes brews from West Flanders, Echo, Fate, Gravity, Bootstrap.
Upslope Brewing, 1501 Lee Hill Dr.:
Special taps and deals on pints all week (2-9 p.m.) Each hour, play beer trivia for free beer, pint glasses, six packs, other prizes. Raffle ticket to win quarter-barrel keg of their beer. Proceeds go to Colorado Craft Brewers Guild.
West End Tavern, 926 Pearl St.:
Each day, check out special line-ups of Colorado beers, with employees from various breweries stopping by throughout the week.
Boulder Liquor Mart: 1750 15th St.:
Sample Oskar Blues line-up (including Gubna) on March 23 from 3-5 p.m.
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S o. Much. Green.
Perhaps those pesky leprechauns imbibed a bit too much on their own brewskies and vommed all over the place because St. Patty's Day's is everywhere. And I thought it was bad when I was in Dublin ...
This Beer Girl isn't complaining. Of course, after her day-drinking escapades last weekend -- just another Sunday made AWESOME -- my stomach's vehemently arguing against it.
Round two it is.
And since Boulder's clearly embraced this day o' drinking -- as we all should -- I'm going to have to cut the rambling nonsense this week (hey, now, keep the cheers and hoorahs quiet).
On to my blatant promotion of excessive drinking and gaudy fashion in public.
Huzzah to the green glitter sure to litter side streets and bed sheets tomorrow.
To start, honor goes to Conor O'Neill's, 1922 13th St. Seems fitting, since it's actually an Irish pub.
After last week's parade, they're amping up St. Pat's spirit and taking over not only their own establishment, but also nearby lots for a tented party out back.
The bar opens at 8 a.m., serving up a delightfully traditional breakfast. All the better to soak up libations later. By noon, Irish dancers and bagpipers will be wandering through tipsy crowds as live music gives you something to jiggle to. Don't forget lunch. (I'm not even going to say beer. That's obvious.)
This is probably as traditional as it's going to get, folks. Unless you're Captain Moneybags flying over to the Emerald Isle. Or just in good with magical forces. God, apparition would be sweet.
Yea, I'm a nerd. Move on.
Now, clearly bars all about town will be handing out discounted drinks to further encourage your poor life choices, but I've got a few quick hits you can pitch to resistant-to-drink friends.
West End Tavern, 926 Pearl St., seems to have stolen a few of those Irish dancers. And all those Irish drinks you love -- Shillelaghs, whiskey flights, Bushmills, Jameson and beer -- are discounted for your convenience. Oh, and lots of quality, fattening and filling foods are, too.
(PS: March Madness excitement's happening at the tavern starting Monday. Tune in later for the specials.)
For $3 green beer, $4 breakfast shots -- the liquid way to start your day -- and $4 Guinness drafts, Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., has got a three-day celebration for you closet alcoholics. Friday to Sunday, the party's hoppin' ... or something like that.
Leave the class to the Walrus Saloon, 1173 Walnut St., where its ad features a woman in lime green booty shorts, suspenders and thigh-high socks.
Scantily clad women aside, the bar will have $1 Jell-O shots, $2.75 green beers and $4.50 car bombs. Good god, Monday's looking more and more painful.
Twisted Pine, 3201 Walnut St., has a unique twist going. Sure, they've got the Irish stew and clover-shaped pizzas, but who else is serving up Peppermint Paddy beer?
And for that hangover you know you'll be sporting, smack the ass-biting dog with $2.50 Bloody Billy's during Geeks Who Drink trivia on Monday.
For you homebodies -- AKA, friendless folk -- New Planet Brewery has a recipe for green beer, should you choose to accept that challenge. A colorful, stain-creating twist on beer pong, perhaps?
Just head to newplanetbeer.com.
Oh, and just in case you've developed a miracle hangover cure (share, please), it's Colorado Craft Beer Week. Check out your neighborhood breweries for incredible deals honoring the beautiful craft beer industry.
And because I don't say it enough, thank you to all you readers out there -- especially the ones who tune in week after week. Freshmen or three-year seniors, working lads or stay-at-home grads, this (slightly crazy) columnist appreciates it.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.