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F rom tiny, gold-obsessed green men to creeps in bunny costumes.
Strange time of year.
Holiday-specific mascots aside, our blizzard-to-heat wave weather patterns have embraced the odd. God, I love Colorado.
My liver, as it were, is thankful for this upcoming Easter celebration. After day-drinking the green beer and pre-gaming for a certain snow-covered soccer game, it thinks this religious day will save it.
Silly organ, sobriety's for kids.
But I must admit, a break from the madness is welcome -- especially this basketball crap (sorry sports lovers, just ain't my thang). My credit card isn't even speaking to me anymore.
So how about some drink deals?
(Generic column, I know. I think I may have killed one too many brain cells ...)
Let's start at Half Fast, 1215 13th St.
Because while I'm a big fan of beer (me and liquor are taking a break, not to say we won't drunkenly end up in bed together one day soon), I love food.
Not 10 minutes after a meal, I'm planning the next.
I'm curvy, and I like it.
So why not combine the two, with a jumbo-size that won't clog your arteries?
I like things big. In my mouth. Wait, what? Shhhh.
They've got a massive ... sandwich menu, and a little thing called the Strong Island Iced Tea. One and done, and not just because that's the rule. It gets the job done right the first time. Must be a woman.
Stick with beer and their happy hour knocks a dollar off.
Still hungry? Or thirsty? Or drunkenly searching for a snack?
The Goose, 1301 Broadway, has your Friday covered with $1 off premium drafts, $3 Fireballs and $4 Car Bombs from 9 to 11 p.m., and plenty of food choices for you boozies.
The Goose boasts bacon-wrapped hotdogs, people. Quality, thy name is grease and carbs.
But wait, there's more.
The Sink, 1165 13th St., has delightful deals, too. Finally visited for the first time myself a few months back.
Catch on to my locale theme, by the way? I'm trying something -- and somewhere -- new. This old dog can learn new tricks. In bed, too. But I digress ... (what else is new?)
You'll be thankful it's Friday for a whole new reason, with two-for-one wells and select drafts, 10 p.m. to close.
And once you've partied hardy all weekend, douse your hungover selves with Bloody Mary's. Build your own -- if you have the brainpower left.
Reminder time: Tequila Month is ending at Centro Latin Kitchen, 950 Pearl St., should you care to indulge in its featured cocktail of the week. And as March Madness continues, West End, 926 Pearl St., has specials for all you sports nuts. I'm proud to announce I watched nearly all of a game last weekend. Now ask me how much I cared about ...
And please, for the love of booze, write me if you've got a place I never write about or an event you want to promote. I can't know all the things, folks.
--Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.