Like you, I don't care too much about Justin Bieber's arrest.
Beyond the fact that, if the allegations are true, it's appallingly dangerous, there's not much reason to give a shit. People do stupid things all the time.
This causes an uproar because it's Bieber, and the Laws of the Internet require that everyone have extremely strong feelings about Bieber. Either you tearily profess dismay at his arrest or you call for his deportation in a fit of hatred.
For me, my lack of give-a-fuck comes from a need to preserve some mental stability. Once I get into a downward thought-spiral — wondering why assholes are assholes and why so many people adore and defend the assholes — it's hard to maintain any sanity or faith in humanity. Call it the Chris Brown Problem. Yes, the simple answer is fame, but it's difficult to understand why that trumps basic human dignity.
Anyway, let's all think about something else. Chances are, only Selena Gomez holds the power to stop the Biebs. Let us redirect our limited attention, so stunted as it is by the internet, to better things.
1. Beyoncé. More specifically, the man who produced 80 percent of Beyoncé. Pitchfork recently published a profile of Boots, and it's pretty delightful. The dude just seems cool. At the end of the piece, he's playing the dark and arresting "Haunted" for the reporter, then, "When it's over, Boots grins into the silence. Then, he cues up 'Partition' again, and starts dancing wildly around the room."
2. Tegan and Sara wrote a jingle for Oreo. It's the kind of synth-pop you might compare to an Oreo in addictiveness. But more importantly, it has alerted me to the fact that Oreo is now doing cookie dough in the middle. Goodbye, waist.
3. Real Estate's new song, "Talking Backwards," is wonderful. If you're feeling like sinking into some intricate guitar work, you can hear the song on YouTube.
Speaking of YouTube (world-class transition, right there) you should also look up (4.) Danny Brown and Purity Ring's Megan James performing on Jimmy Kimmel Live! They slink through "25 Bucks," their collaboration on his latest record, Old, and it's sort of hypnotizing.
5. Denver hip-hop trio BLKHRTS is leaving for Los Angeles. Good for them, but this is a serious bummer for Denver. If you haven't checked them out yet, dig in at blkhrts.bandcamp.com and absolutely do not miss their last show this Saturday at the Larimer Lounge.
6. If Macklemore & Ryan Lewis win the Grammy for Best Song, they'll be the first rap artists to do it. We should all have a lot of feelings about this, starting with the problem ... wait, no, this is exhausting, too.
7. CAT GIFS.
Contact Ashley Dean at 303-473-1109 . On Twitter: twitter.com/AshaleyJill.