Here's a thing you might have noticed: I'm a tad cold and cynical.
Valentine's Day is not my holiday. I've actually never been sad and alone on Feb. 14, but I hate it nonetheless. No one needs to buy a bunch of tacky garbage and be forced to express their feelings — all too often in public— just because of a day on the calendar.
Alas, this column is landing smack on V-Day and I feel pretty obligated to say something. Being grumpy and anti-Valentine's Day is just as annoying as participating, so I won't keep hating. Here's a tolerable middle ground.
There are a bunch of famous musician couples who give me warm and fuzzy feelings. They seem to genuinely love each other, or they did, even when it didn't work out. So, here are my valentines to my favorite music couples.
Jay-Z and Beyoncé
You know that was coming.
From "Crazy in Love" to "Drunk in Love," Jay and Bey have always exuded love, not to mention total confidence that their love is the greatest. They put it right out front on the Grammy stage for everyone to see that respect for each other can go right along with crazy sex. I don't know a single person who didn't scoff at the rumor that Beyoncé was having an affair with President Obama. Even though we don't know her personally, it's just seems so far out of the realm of possibility.
When celebrity couples like Amy Poehler and Will Arnett break up, some declared that love is dead. If Jay and Bey ever ended, that might convince me.
Ozzy and Sharon
No, Sharon isn't a famous musician, but let's count her anyway. She's deep enough into that world.
There have been plenty of highly publicized problems, including a near split, but remember "The Osbournes"? That's what did it for me. They are batshit insane, but you get the impression that they still really care. If anything, Ozzy's addled brain just really needs Sharon.
It doesn't matter how much dysfunction there is. The fact that they take it as it comes is pretty rock 'n' roll.
Bethany Cosentino and Nathan Williams
Best Coast's frontwoman and Wavves' frontman aren't particularly public as a couple. There was that SPIN cover story that featured them together, and it gets talked about casually, but it's not a big thing.
It's all the cute little things. Two weeks ago, Bethany tweeted and Instagrammed, "Hey @wavvescybersquat, I know yr upstairs watching TV and I'm downstairs stoned trying to build a couch- but I wanted to tell you that I love you unconditionally," with an adorable-but-not-nauseating photo.
I pictured them in sitting on Venice Beach lifeguard chairs as thrones, smoking joints as stoner king and queen of the beach.
There are a whole bunch more, but as ever, the restrictions of time and space are squashing the celebration of love. Feel free to yell at me about who deserved a spot more.
Contact Ashley Dean at 303-473-1109. On Twitter: twitter.com/AshaleyJill.