LISTEN UP

Like it or not, we’re all part of the TV reality show culture. Phrases like “The tribe has spoken” (“Survivor”) and “That’s so fierce” (“Project Runway”) have worked their way into our national vocabulary. We even call the contestants and judges on “American Idol” and “Survivor” by their first names.

Let’s face it, we’ve all become members of this new reality TV tribe. If you’ve been discussing the ever-so-catty characters on “Sheer Genius,” thrashing “Dancing with the Stars,” or mimicking Kathy Griffin’s latest expletives, then you are hereby charged with being a reality show junkie. No worries, most of America has joined the club. The fact remains that reality TV has become one of the hottest entertainment topics on and off the boob tube.

The reality genre is so hot that in the next few months people like P. Diddy, Jennifer Lopez and Pam Anderson will be hosting their own reality shows.

That’s why it’s going to be fun discussing the good, the bad and the ugly – or as Denver hair salon owner/contestant Charlie of “Sheer Genius” says – “fugly” (you fill in the blanks) about this popular TV genre.

THE SHOWS

“I Survived A Japanese Game Show” may be sitting pretty at the top of the TV ratings, but the show needs to be renamed “I Survived Watching A Japanese Game Show.” Home viewers should be awarded for being forced to sit through this 60-minute waste of airtime.

The premise of this program is to have contestants appear in inane stunts that defy reason and gravity. Last week the battling contestants had to make wasabi (hot stuff!) cookies that they tried to serve up to the members of the opposing team.

As a grand encore, the two most hated team members had to dress up as Samurais, attach themselves to a rope device and dive headfirst into a solid set of doors. On the chance that they were rammed into doors that broke apart, the contestants were then met by giant panda bears that pounded them with giant powder puffs filled with flour.

Someone call the Humane Society. The other top network reality hit of the summer is called “Greatest American Dog.” One viewing of this show will prove that the pets hold it together better than their owners, who sob at the drop of a hanky.

Kudos to the canines on “Greatest American Dog” for having to put up with being dressed as disco dogs and cheerleaders – oh yeah, they went there. In the end, the pooches are cute and endearing; it’s the crybaby owners and bitchy judges that are killing this reality program.

On the plus side, there’s been some great summer reality shows – on cable. Kathy Griffin is back on the Bravo network with her “My Life on the D List” and she’s as feisty as ever. You go girl!

REALITY NEWS

Reality TV has hit Boulder. Last weekend the Food Network came to town to tape a local segment for “Rescue Chef.” The premise of the program is to teach ordinary cooks how to avoid kitchen catastrophes. Sounds like it might be a snooze-fest. If you like cooking shows with a little bite, then wait for the fall edition of “Top Chef”

In national reality-show news: For some people, putting your life on film is a very bad idea. Just ask Pam Anderson. That isn’t stopping the blonde TV vet from starring in a new E! Entertainment Television reality series called “Pam: Girl on the Loose.” Need we say more?

Let the games begin – the reality show TV season is just taking off and it could get fugly.

Wendy Kale loves to write about music and entertainment for the Daily, but she does have a strong addiction to reality TV shows. Maybe it’s because her parents used the TV set as her original babysitter. Email her at kale@coloradodaily.com. Reality Bytes runs every Monday in The Mix.