So, here we are in the midst of a crippling economic recession, and guess what? Weekend traffic is still backed up for hours on the way to Colorado's finest ski resorts.

Come on!

Do you really mean to tell me that, as a nation, we are staring into an economic crisis the effects of which are unparalleled in the scope of modern history, and I can't even get an extra 20 minutes on the slopes to show for it?

What a crock.

Every cloud has its silver lining, people, and I thought for sure that when it came to the recession there would be a big payoff for people like me who renewed their ski passes early. I think it was even listed as a bullet point in the online ad.

"Don't wait for cataclysmic economic downturn to ravage YOUR favorite winter pastime -- renew today!"

Sure, the recession has all but consumed local and national media coverage. Sure, it's been a top story on TV, radio and printed news for months. It was probably even the deciding factor in our most recent presidential election.

However, when I decide to spring for a weekend trip to Vail, why is it that all of the families who should rightly be scraping by to fight foreclosures on their homes are instead zipping about on MY bosomy-soft recession snow without a care in the world?

This recession sucks. That's why.

It's been getting a lot of comparisons to the Depression back in the '30s -- but that's wishful thinking, if you ask me. At least back in the Depression, Americans knew what to do to make it "Great."

People wore brimmed hats and trenchcoats, they perfected the fine art of moonshine . . . and rather than pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, they took off their bootstraps and invented hobo chili.

When I take I-70 up to Summit County, however, I don't see that same fervor. I don't see people huddling around back-alley trash fires building a sense of togetherness and trying to make this recession "Super."

Instead, because in the gridlocked traffic all I can do is stare into their cars and judge them, all I see is a group of Americans willfully neglecting to refinance their mortgages so they can take their four-year-old down his or her first run.

Not only is this kind of "family-first" mentality bad for the slopes -- spoiled four-year-old skiers turn into spoiled eight-year-old speed demons -- but it's also bad for the economy!

This is no time to be taking your family on day trips, this is the time to explore outsourcing them as laborers. And say what you want about child labor, but the fact of the matter is it builds character! The exact kind of character we need to get through this recession.

As a single, gainfully employed male with no dependents, all I can do is ski as much as possible to help this economy rebound -- and I hope you can appreciate my sacrifice. But if you have children, your role is very different.

If they aren't operating the lift chairs, then they shouldn't be there at all.