Phil Spector s Christmas album may be amazing, but how can you listen to music produced by a guy with this hair? Plus, he killed someone. ( DAMIAN DOVARGANES )

It's December, and that means the CD shelves are stocked with jingle bells and holiday cheer -- Christmas albums that range from tacky to tasteful, classy to classic to just plain sick.

But there's one word to describe the best (read: worst) holiday music: absurd. We're talking about that ridiculous, superfluous, gratuitous celebrity cash-grab, er, Christmas album.

You know, the one by the fading B-lister, or the reality star whose Warhol watch reads 14:59, or any Christmas album in some way affiliated with American Idol. These monstrosities have a shorter shelf life than fruitcake, but still warm the soul. And by that we mean they inspire the listener to hit the hot buttered rum. Hard.

For those looking for a gag gift, or who just want to be vindictive at the office gift exchange, here are some of the most ridiculous celebrity Christmas albums you could stuff in a stocking. Just don't be surprised when your giftee kindly asks you to stuff them someplace else.

RuPaul, Ho Ho Ho (1997) -- Nothing says the holidays like drag queens and techno beats, and there's plenty of both on this holiday spectacular, including "Hard Candy Christmas" and "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus."

Regis Philbin, The Regis Philbin Christmas Album (2005) -- The Rege is ubiquitous. His duet with Donald Trump--on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" --reminds us that ubiquitous kinda rhymes with ridiculous.

Various artists, A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector (1963, re-issue 2009) -- I don't know about you, but I'm not opening any presents from legendary record producer/convicted murderer Phil Spector. And while he made his fortune in the record industry, these days his name's as synonymous with music as O.J. Simpson's with football. Still, this soulful gem is in the top tier of Christmas albums.

Larry the Cable Guy, A Very Larry Christmas (2004) and Christmastime in Larryland (2007) -- Nothing classes up the holidays like a chorus of "Farting Jungle Bells."

William Hung, Hung for the Holidays (2004) -- Hung's yuletide yuk-fest features a bingo-hall version of "Winter Wonderland" and renditions of "Silver Bells" and "Deck the Halls" that feel vaguely racist (think the Chinese restaurant scene in "A Christmas Story").

Various artists, NBC Celebrity Christmas (2001) -- The trouble with novelty celebrity Christmas albums is that after a song or two you get the joke. But this cavalcade of stars can be mocked from beginning to end. Check out John Lithgow and Bebe Neuwirth singing, "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

Jessica Simpson, Rejoyce: The Christmas Album (2004) -- Simpson is better known for "Chicken of the Sea" and Tony Romo than her music, and let's just say Rejoyce, featuring a duet with her lip-synching sister, Ashlee, hasn't become a holiday classic.

Band Aid, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (1984) -- This is the mother of all musical benefits. Any time a bunch of bands get together to rock out for a cause, one can't help but think back to Bob Geldof's attempt to deliver food to famine-stricken Ethiopa through the power of song.

Brady Bunch and Partridge Family, Christmas with the Brady Bunch/A Partridge Family Christmas Card (1970/1971) -- Two seminal '70s TV families. Two forgettable holiday albums. You've heard these songs before. You'll hear more interesting versions of them on the Twisted Sister Christmas album -- and yes, such a thing exists (A Twisted Christmas, 2006). There's still time to add it to your list.