It's almost time.
Holy scream. It's almost time.
The comeback season for "Arrested Development" launches May 26 on Netflix, and I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so I have something of a mess on my hands.
(There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.)
That gorgeous rhetoric, spit straight from Tobias Funke's mouth in season two, will be awash with inappropriateness soon enough, as the fictional Bluth family gathered Monday night for (probably) the longest premiere ever.
Newbies: The series aired on Fox for three seasons (2003-2006). It was canceled due to low viewership (to our dismay), but it's now back for a fourth season, including a movie in the works.
Oldbies: HOLY SHIT BLUTH-MAN.
Newbies, get your ass on the bandwagon. The whole season will be released on Netflix in one day, so you can pound that bitch out in one sitting.
Then you can watch "Arrested Development."
Kudos, Mr. Collins
"I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay," NBA's Jason Collins, of the Washington Wizards, said in an interview with Sports Illustrated, becoming the first openly gay active athlete in a major U.S. team sport.
What a great day for the pros (and Mr. Collins, of course). Day by day the world is looking gayer and (cue Cosmo Kramer voice) I'm loooovin' every minute of it.
Fun fact: Collins played basketball in high school with actor Jason Segel in Los Angeles.
The Kardashians have been littering the internet with photos of their family vacation in Greece. (Yippee.)
The Kardashian/Jenner clan all gangbanged on a colossal yacht* to celebrate nothing.
*Why they did it all on Kim is yet to be determined. Oh hush. I had to.
Over 'The Hills'
Because I've been lying in wait wondering where Kristin Cavallari has been, she told some rag that she's putting her acting career on hold. She wants to focus on her family -- fiancé Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, their little boy and Spencer Pratt's vagina.
(I'll focus on your family.)
I've been sifting through cabinets, tearing through the shed, digging under empty beer boxes and I can't find her acting career anywhere.
Oh well. We're over "The Hills" (and far away). Cast: Go back into hibernation and spoon a grizzly. Don't come out until the grizzled fur pal has eaten everything on his plate. (Save for Heidi Montag's plastic parts. Bears can't digest that shit.)