D ear Christy,
This guy I'm dating "likes" way too many things on Facebook. It's really annoying. He's a cool guy and I like him, but I'm afraid my friends are going to judge him and think he's a total Facebook dork. What should I do?
So, you're in the Social Media Rebel Clan. (Members aren't necessarily "rebels." That would be too cliché. Plus, the word "cliché" is too cliché. It doesn't match ironic T-shirts and it causes hipsters to poop kitten GIFs.)
This trite concern of yours is quite the conundrum. (Mix three ounces of whiskey with two drops of Summer's Eve for fast, effective relief.)
Facebook has a smug, smelly little soul, doesn't it?
It's filled with bothersome friends who reveal underwear skidmarks and all. Then there's that sad somebody that nobody loves (our eyes are going to fall out from rolling so hard).
Facebook offers us a chance to watch our chums' lives through a series of check-ins at the furry emporium, bed, bathhouse and beyond (and such).
(The worst: writers who post links to their newspaper columns for their friends to read. Shhh.)
Then we have those share-happy, click-a-rific pals, like your man.
Oh the humanity. He "likes" things. Damn loser.
If you like something, shout it from the rooftops! Like it. Put a ring on it.
You and your friends are annoyed? Hide him from your feed. Not science here, sugar.
Now hush your cute little face and go "like" things so we can judge you.
Be honest with me. I don't shave my man bush, but I guess a lot of guys do it? Do the ladies like a smooth ride? I'm scared I'm going to cut my scrotum. Can I just leave the fro? I kind of like my fuzz.
It's simply a matter of personal preference.
Some dudes shave to make their bits look big.
Some dudes shave to stave off impromptu floss jobs for their lover.
Some dudes just don't like hair.
My grapevine finds a mix of reaction from the ladies: Some like it, some think it's weird and some just really don't give a shit.
If you are averse to the razor near your jewels, then keep (and be proud of) your large mane of pubic hair.
So you know, there are all sorts of homies out there who are bushy and proud. People don merkins to swathe their lack of pubic hair with a faux crotch rug. So don't let this crisis vex your sweet tresses.
Tip: Shave a landing strip -- or a handlebar mustache, a heart, a bird, your family crest -- down there and watch the jaws drop.
Not that way, pervert.