LOOK. It’s Denver’s Botanic Gardens with Kanye West at a gala. Fine, It’s Kim Kardashian, but WTF with that hideous dress?
LOOK. It's Denver's Botanic Gardens with Kanye West at a gala. Fine, It's Kim Kardashian, but WTF with that hideous dress? (Associated Press)

Kanye's way is Hanes Her Way.

West unveiled a new collection for the French clothing line A.P.C. on Sunday and the entire line sold out soon after it debuted.

And it crashed A.P.C.'s website. (Yeezus is so smoooove he makes the world wide web go BOOOOOOM!)

One of the items -- among only a few pieces, like jeans and hoodies -- is a white T-shirt for $120.

Like a Hanes.

Like the one I just cleaned my dog's barf up with because I was out of paper products.

It's called a "Hip Hop T-Shirt."

What's it made out of, you ask?

I don't care. Like rare infant beluga roe blended with vicuña wool or some shit.

christy fantz
Christy Fantz

Since Yeezy didn't physically make the tees, I'll lay off Mr. Kardashian. Those I will spank are the fools who dropped a bill and a fifth for a plain white tee.

Now if we could just line up those clones in their fancy new tops, get PETA on the horn and have the activists hose 'em down with the blood of an Olsen twin.

Speaking of white...

British model Kate Moss explained to Allure magazine about her past stigmas -- including being tagged as anorexic, heroin chic and her brief stint dating Johnny Depp in the '90s.

"I was like, 'Oh, it's just ridiculous. I don't do heroin. Just because I wear a bit of black eyeliner that's smudged...'"

Right. But homegirl, there's blow all over your face.


Just a head's up.

Breaking up with Scientology

You're leaving the Church of Scientology?

Watch your fucking back. Watch it like Tony Soprano is tailing you in a custom-made Bugatti steamroller that tops out at 160. (Swiftly.)

When I ran vomiting split pea soup from the Catholic church, I emerged quite clean -- with only a lifetime of therapy, severe crushing guilt and full-blown panic disorder. But there's booze and meds for that.

Actress Leah Remini announced last week that she is breaking up with Scientology after more than 30 years as a member. Sources have been revealing to media outlets that Remini began questioning the "weird" relationship between leader David Miscavige and Tom Cruise.

Weird? It's not like Miscavige went on Cruise's honeymoon with him.

Contrary! He joined Katie Holmes and Cruise in 2006 in Maldives.

Remini's sister, who left the church years ago, said that Leah is "laying low."

"Stepping away from Scientology will be challenging," a source told People mag. "But she will fight."

In the meantime, fellow Scientologist Kirstie Alley is reportedly piiiiised at Remini for leaving. But then she fried up a teacup piglet in lard and felt better.

Pitt's road house

Brad Pitt's million-dollar movie trailer is more posh than Posh Spice's scowl collection. His refrigerator is worth more than Kristen Stewart's life. (Speaking of scowls.)

Look. He's Brad Pitt. His left nipple is insured for billions.

In HGTV's series "Celebrity Motor Homes," viewers get a peek into where Brad hangs out when he's not tripping over half a dozen children.

Aside from a queen size bed, a chef's gourmet kitchen, leather sofas and a big-screen TV, the pad includes two bathrooms with a walk-in shower for two.

It's his home away from home. Aside from his other home away from home in New Orleans. Or his chateau away from home in France. Or his mansion away from home in Malibu. Or his... put this on loop, I'm going to smoke.