Weiner was caught with his wiener out.
(It won't get old.)
Once that politician pops, he can't stop.
Laymen, Anthony Weiner is being urged to drop out of the New York mayoral race, because his wiener has once again sprayed all over his political career. The renowned dick clicker was caught, again, with pants-down shenanigans that destroyed his congressional career two years ago. This time, he was busted as "Carlos Danger," sending crotch selfies and to an online lover. (Crotch selfies. You heard it here first.)
Oh the humanity. That embarrassing, gigantic thing protruding for all to Google. Wait. That's his nose.
Regardless, his wife Huma Abedin is still standing by him.
Society doesn't really care what people do with their private pieces. You can wipe your wang all over your camera lens and plaster it as porn, Mr. Danger, but the lack of respect to wifey is making voters weary of trustworthy leadership.
However, the man's still plowing through the adversity.
"This is not about me" but about voters, he said at a press conference.
Please start wiener-bombing White House black tie events.
Selena can drink! Kinda.
Selena Gomez turned 21 on Monday and told Jay Leno she had a shot of Jack Daniels.
Now that the sweet, naive little squishy cheeks is of age, I'm going to send her a bottle of Wild Turkey so she can learn her lesson like a big girl.
And a new boyfriend. Ever since Bieber hit puberty last month, the kid's gone all Amanda Bynes. Someone spike his sippy cup with estrogen.
In the ridiculous Amanda Bynes saga, the former child actress is now on a 72-hour psych hold for allegedly starting a fire on some old lady's driveway in Los Angeles.
No relation. No reason.
The driveway victim, Bonnie Braaten, 73, told In Touch, "the man from the fire department said she was 'whacked!' Acting all strange."
Well, Bonnie, if the goddamn concrete started hurling insults at you while you were calmly strolling around the neighborhood with a Chihuahua in your backpack and holding hands with the lady in your head, you would set it on fire, too.
Leto, you rebel
Jared Leto, of 30 Seconds To Mars (and more importantly, "My So Called Life"), told a British rag that he grew up as a bit of an asshole teen.
"I think we're all dealt a set of challenges in our lives and we all deal with them in different way. When you're younger you don't have the tools, you just don't know how to cope with those challenges. Probably a lot of my behavior was related to doing drugs."
Don't be so hard on yourself. You started an emo boy band that makes Pete Wentz pogo like Pinkie Pie the My Little Pony. You synchronize outfits with that Paramore broad. Even though you cry yourself to sleep with melodramatic prose, your black eyeliner is hardly smudged.
You were in "Fight Club"!
Your name is Jared Leto. Your name is Jared Leto. Your name is Jared Leto...
(Can you tell Pete Wentz his vagina fell out of his skirt?)
Random: Rose McGowan is engaged to a dude named Davey Detail.
(What would Marilyn Manson do? Maybe send Jared Leto a crotch selfie.)
The actress told Yahoo!'s OMG! that she's a two-glass of wine girl.
"After two glasses, then there's another decision. If you get to the third glass, then you have a bad decision of getting to the next glass, and then you have a bad, bad day the next day. I get hung over really easily."
Take it easy, turbo. Make them spritzers and then you can pound three!