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I feel like, after a while, y'all should be sick of me.
"Beer's delicious" this, and "yay alliteration" that and "oh, hey, here's a sex joke."
In my defense ... it's kind of my job, nightlife columnist-wise. I'm also immature and inappropriate and unlikely to change in my old age.
I've found the people who stick around -- my, like, five friends at this point -- genuinely like me this way, or have great coping mechanisms. And as one such pal and I drove home from the Rio last week, having had one drink each (but now that we were on our own, suddenly craving more), we realized something: We really only need our little group of friends.
I mean, we've found a selection of people who love all the "that's what she said" laughs, know our "Never Have I Ever" answers -- having been involved in most -- and know to watch out for habitual clumsiness. And when you're drinking to a point where "inhibitions" or "smart choices" are just slurred words, you need to surround yourself with peeps who won't judge you peeing in the bushes.
That said, you should do what my party people and I did last weekend: Drink all the beers.
Along with my general existence, you're also probably sick of hearing about the Old Chicago mini tours by now.
I don't care.
I also don't care that our obsession with the tours is unhealthy and has led us to fill a dresser drawer entirely with shirts we rarely wear.
But they're at it again with their inaugural Gridiron tour (1102 Pearl St.), and they're making it into my column because it's got a twist.
Anyway, there's this chart of beer types. You pick any beers out of those 11 categories -- draft your team ... get it? GET IT? -- to check that off your list. The 12th is the Red Hook Audible Ale and mandatory, but that's OK.
Once you're done, you can wear that new T-shirt AND cap as you teeter on to your next destination. You've got until Aug. 25.
It's also National #IPAday, as Upslope Brewing (1898 S. Flatiron Ct.) says, on Thursday. With the help of a few other breweries, they've got nine IPAs on tap for you to delight in. Heirloom Food Truck will enable continuous drinking at 5 p.m., and Boulder band The Longest Day of the Year will hit the stage at 6 p.m.
Beer snobs, keep drinking! BRU Handbuilt Ales just unleashed their First Anniversary Belgian Style Quadrupel Ale, so keep your eyes open for that at select locations around town.
Now, here's my curve ball.
The 2nd annual Colorado Brazil Fest.
Yea, that's right. I can do things other than drink and write this column.
From Thursday to Sunday, Boulder Samba School's fest will feature the state's finest Brazilian music, dance and food as a crash course in all things Brazil.
You'll have to head to coloradobrazilfest.com for full details and locations, but have your dance shoes ready for samba workshops that'll work up your appetite, and Brazilian barbecue that'll satisfy them.
And of course, because I have to, I must insist you go to Boulder Outdoor Cinema's "Princess Bride" on Saturday at dusk. It's perfection in movie form, and it'd be inconceivable not to.
--Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.