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A Buff is banging Hollywood, hurrah, hurrah.
Give the wide receiver props, hurrah, hurrah.
Hayden and Scotty layin' in a truck. F-U-C-... easy, there.
Panettiere and former CU football player Scotty McKnight are (allegedly) dating.
They were spotted getting all snuggly Sunday when New York played the Bills in Jersey. (Scotty's on the Jets' reserve list with a torn ACL, hence the bleacher seats. Plus, ouch. And also, I like the name Scotty.)
"I've always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I'm into sports so we have a lot in common," the actress told Us mag.
She saves whales and likes sports? Call me, bitch.
(High ten, Scotty.)
Girl, you'll be a woman soon
Bust out the pastis.*
Tallulah Willis, 17, is an official 1 percenter.
She had her coming-out party and is now a member of high society.
(I'll give you a débutante.)
What does this mean? Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' youngest was introduced at Le Bal des Debutantes (le Blah des Bleh Blah) at the Hotel Crillon in Paris, along with 23 other broads from 13 countries.
Still a hair hazy on those fishy high-society rules? Ditto.
That's OK. We 99 percenters throw far superior parties.
Like my rumored coming-out party -- not that way, sorry ladies. My big debut to society crystal-balls me as facedown in the Platte River.
I said balls.
Look for the Evite. (Do we still Evite?)
*Eek. It's like sipping anise's pubic hair.
Just like big sis
Kylie Jenner, the youngest Kardashian sis, 14, went on a date with Aussie's Bieber clone -- pop singer Cody Simpson, also 14.
If there's anything more than over-the-blouse fondling, I'm spilling the beans to Mr. Taut Mug Formerly Known as Bruce Jenner (i.e., your father). Sinner.
(At least Kylie's sex ed came in the form of big sis Kim's 2007 taped plow session.)
Postscript, they met at the "Twilight" premiere last week.
Cartwheel!
Stoney Miley
Video of Miley Cyrus at her 19th birthday party last week:
"You know you're a stoner when your friends make you a Bob Marley cake -- you know you smoke way too much fuckin' weed."
Kelly Osbourne, an unlikely friend tweeting about the cake that was a "joke":
"Let me make something very clear after Miley Cyrus' salvia incident we started calling her bob miley as a JOKE!"
Hollywood Headaches on this post:
"Are they still talking? Donde esta el vaporizer, bitches?"
#postscript:weediskindalegalhomies
