Usually I like to tell a tale that not only lowers my respectability in high society but embarrasses my friends. They love it. That's why each week, we keep doing dumb things. So they can be column fodder. (Ahem, *cough cough* riiiight.)
But as I've been a wee bit abandoned this week, I've realized a few things.
One: Rain makes me a sloth-like creature only interested in comfy blankets and television shows on DVD.
Two: There's no such thing as too much snacking. Ever.
Three: I'll talk to myself. A lot. And to the shows I watch, as if they're my own personal friends who care about my opinions. It's nice.
Four: Looking at the above point, I'm lucky to have friends at all.
But all that's going to change. There's just too much going on this weekend. Seems this town's determined to shake off the rain-induced comas and get us all back into the hot pants and out guzzling libations like our livers don't care.
Game on, Boulder. Let us break it down.
Thursday (The Third Day. Did you bring your coat?)
Get your history nerd on. (Haven't taken mine off, actually. Not for years. But this is beer-related, which makes it cooler, right?) As part of the Boulder History Museum's "BEER! Boulder's History on Tap" exhibit, the founders of Boulder Beer, Left Hand Brewing Co. and Twisted Pine Brewing are holding a panel about their pasts and what led up to each foam-topped pint. Trot on over to 2205 Broadway St. (the future home of the museum) at 6 pm. and listen to some stories while sipping on their happy-hour delights.
As a fellow columnist explained, Oktoberfest par-tays have arrived. In September. Whatever. But to start the season right, Walnut Brewery is tapping its Oktoberfest Beer ... and giving away free beers to do it. (Woah, mini booze-lover orgasm.) For serious, from 6 to 6:30 p.m., all who head over will nab a complementary beer. Part of the money spent the rest of the night will go to the Colorado Firefighters.
And in other beer news, Upslope Brewing has it's own release from 6 to 10 p.m. at their 1898 Flatiron Court location. Let's hear it for the return of their Pumpkin Ale. Live music from Felonious Smith and food from The Orange Crush should make this time well spent.
In honor of the black and gold, the Pearl Street Stampede will be romping down, you guessed it, Pearl Street! Clever lads and ladies you are. So get your romp on (wanky) at 7 p.m.
What? Another beer release party? Ooo-kay. Avery Brewing's bringing back their Old Jubilation at 5 p.m. Allow the winter strong ale — rich with hazelnut, toffee and mocha flavors — back into your mouth until 11 p.m.
So starts Boulder's Fall Fest this Friday. From 5 to 10 p.m., their beer garden will be open at the 1300 block of Pearl, ready to whisk you away on a cloud of craft brews and Rio margs. For the rest of the weekend, enjoy live music from artists like The Goonies, Fierce Bad Rabbit and The Jeff Brinkman Band, art shows and plenty of good eats. Go to boulderdowntown.com/fall-fest for the full schedule.
As a reminder, your Buffaloes are playing Fresno State at Folsom at 12:05 p.m. While I know beer flows like, well, beer, keep your wits about you and don't do anything too foolish. And remember, West End Tavern's got some grand game-day deals, like $3.50 Great Divide Nomad Pilsner, $5 Buffalo Trace and $2 Old Style cans.
Phew. Sunday I'll leave to you to do as you wish. Lie in the fetal position. Vow to never again let alcohol touch your lips. Use morning "happy time" and/or coffee and water to alleviate the hangover. Whatever floats your boat.
Follow Alex on Twitter: @ansieh.