I support legislation banning any and all holiday decorations prior to Thanksgiving, but judging by the obnoxious display along Pearl Street, the powers that be seem to have had other plans. I'm now being regularly assaulted by a barrage of colored lights and garlands that don't seem to have had any thought put into them, I'm surrounded by people clutching red cups from You-Know-Where, and I can't even open my mailbox without Black Friday ads spilling out onto the sidewalk.
I'm a Grinch from New Year's to Thanksgiving, but since people seem to think it's time to get your holiday spirit on, here are some ways to geek out in preparation for the holiday season.
Indulge your inner timelord and marathon all the Doctor Who Christmas specials (in addition to this weekend's 50th anniversary special, of course.) Bingeing on Harry Potter movies can — and should — be done year-round, but seeing little baby Ron pop up and say "Happy Christmas, Harry!" can make even the blackest, coldest of hearts — ahem, mine — swell around this time of year.
Curl up with an appropriately seasonal book. John Green, leader of the nerdy new wave, contributed to the holiday-themed "Let it Snow." The brilliantly funny essayist David Sedaris has an entire collection of Christmas essays in his book, "Holidays on Ice." Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" is, of course, mandatory, and for my fellow holdouts, I suspect a read-through of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" might soften us up a little bit.
And of course, you'll have to make sure to change your various social media platforms to reflect the seasonal spirit. Update your cover photo to one of snow-dusted Flatirons or the star up on Flagstaff. Make your profile picture a photo of you as a little kid, unwrapping your first Lego set. Change your name on Twitter to a seasonally appropriate pun on your name (say, Jingle Bells Ryan, for example). From here on out, your Instagram feed is to be exclusively photos of the star, your eggnog latte, sweaters or Christmas cookies. All Vine posts must be accompanied by "Baby, It's Cold Outside" playing in the background.
Giving you these tips isn't exactly condoning your premature celebration — I still maintain anyone sporting a Santa hat deserves all the side-eye I can throw at them — but if the holidays make you happy, I guess I can stomach a sugar cookie or two.
(By the way, Hanukkah starts the day before Thanksgiving this year so my lovely Jewish friends get a free pass from my grumpiness. Wanna pre-gorge on gelt? Go ahead.)
Jess Ryan is a community manager and CU grad. She writes about nerdy things once a week for the Colorado Daily. On Twitter: @JessicaLRyan.