Ashley Dean
Ashley Dean

All I want for Christmas is to get my shit together.

But Santa isn't Jesus. He can't work miracles. Jesus has better things to worry about, anyway.

No one should give up hope for great Christmas gifts, though. So what if you didn't get that Power Wheels monster truck for the Christmas of '93? Maybe, like me, you were let down when you asked for you're own set of Legos and you got yellow and pink girl Legos, complete with instructions on how to build a home, not a spaceship. We've all been hurt and it's time to move on.

Let us make Christmas wishes with wild abandon. I have a lot of lofty dreams for the coming year in music that, Santa willing, could come true.

*mirage-fade to dream sequence*

In the year 2014...

Great local bands will get footholds in Boulder.

Bands playing covers and tributes have been hogging the headlining slots in Boulder. Again and again, multiple nights in a row. Finally, the people decide they want to see original music. New music. Songs written in the last few years by upcoming Coloradoans like South of France and In The Whale. As if awakening from a coma, masses of people will discover that music was made after the Grateful Dead.

Boulder gets a venue like the hi-dive or Larimer Lounge, or even Rhinoceropolis.

The previous wish would be a lot more attainable if those bands had a venue between the Fox and Boulder theaters and the coffeeshops and bars. A place that's just a little bit bigger and is designed with live music as the focus, not the side attraction. Some young, tattooed or mustachioed entrepreneur will step up, buy an empty warehouse and turn it into a grungy spot for local music.

Azealia Banks finally releases her album.

Confession: I'm losing interest. I've been defending her for so, so long, and it wasn't that hard to do. You could drown out the Twitter beef with her beats and let her sharp tongue speak for itself. In 2013, we waited impatiently for Broke With Expensive Taste to drop, and it never did. We got some teases, but no official album. This year, she'll deliver and her loyal defenders will be rewarded.

Beyonce does, too.

Bey finally relaxes a little and doesn't let the batshit perfectionist tendencies slow her down.

We get just as much wonderful music as we got in 2013, but without the exhausting hype.

Having been run ragged by the hype cycles of Arcade Fire, Jay-Z and the like, fans will be too tired and jaded to feed the machine. We'll refuse to by our music on a new phone or incessantly tweet about teasers. Artists, wanting to be better than all that, will just announce records and release them a few months later, maybe with some singles in between. Everyone's risk of stroke or heart attack will be reduced.

My mom will buy me a drum kit and/or synthesizer.

Hi, mom. I love you.

Contact Ashley Dean at 303-473-1109 or On Twitter: