Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel finally broke up after three years.

She got tossed one-year shy of Cameron Diaz's and Britney Spears' run, who both squeezed in four years with the pop star.

Jessica, you saw this coming.

We saw this coming. Primates saw this coming.

For shit's sake, his grandma saw this coming.

"Jessica is keen to marry, but Justin just wasn't ready... as far as we're concerned, he's always been single," grandma Sadie Bomar said to Closer magazine.

Now Justin, the serial-dater, can hop on George Clooney's coattails in the quest of flopping around hordes of women.

Ah, and we'll still find them charming -- even when JT is old and saggy. We'll still swoon while caking on wrinkle cream and touching up our gray roots.

Bastard.

J-Lo, you ain't so fresh

Jennifer Lopez has released a new single, "Fresh Out of the Oven."

I beg to differ. I wouldn't call those big buns fresh anymore, honey.

They're a tad over the hill and most likely a little crusty and stale.

Hmmm.

A Palin association = famous?

Levi Johnston is waxing a media career muscle.

And perhaps his love muscle.

Who?

Remember? That high school dropout who knocked up Sarah Palin's kid?

I smell Spencer Pratt wrapped in Jon Gosselin rolled in Bai Ling and dipped in Kristin Cavallari.

Yeah, "Hills" fans. I said it.

First stop on his media "career" is (drum roll)... nuts.

Johnston now appears in a pistachio commercial.

Next stop on the media career is... showing his nuts.

The 19-year-old is reportedly working out six days a week to prep for posing for Playgirl.

His attorney, Rex Butler (Attorney? Really? You're, like, 12.), said a formal agreement hasn't been made with Playgirl, but it is a "foregone conclusion."

Let's just go ahead and forgo that conclusion.