Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is moving from Melrose Place to Chicago. ( Gus Ruelas )

"Melrose Place" may have canned Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, but it appears the soapy drama didn't crush her acting spirit.

Boo.

I am single-handedly holding the CW television show responsible for the soon-to-be demise of the upcoming run of the Broadway musical "Chicago."

If Simpson-Wentz still resided at the fictional West Hollywood complex, she would not be reprising her role as Roxie Hart.

True, she played Roxie in the London run of "Chicago" in 2006, but at least that stint was a pond away.

Run, New York. I have a blow-up mattress. Call me. And all that jazz.

And, of course, Simpson-Wentz's big sis Jessica Simpson had to chime in at an attempt to Tweet-slap "Melrose Place":

More Headaches

Christy Fantz dishes the dirt daily on her Hollywood Headaches blog.

"Who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."

Easy, tiger.

Sidenote: I believe it's the scripts that are the ones who had to work with you, dear.

I overheard them whispering in the ladies' room.

Britney pisses off Australia

The Australia media's bashing of Britney Spears -- with reports of her lip-synching during "boring" and "stiff" performances -- are causing quite the uproar.

Even John Mayer Tweeted about it:

"If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you."

The real concern here: Mayer hadn't Tweeted for 13 hours and 38 minutes prior to this.

*Huge* sigh of relief.

Another true artist

Miley Cyrus said her new hit, "Party in the U.S.A.," is not her style of music.

So why did she write it?

Just like every great "artist" out there in the world, she didn't.

When asked about the lyrics, she said:

"I don't know, I didn't write the song, so I have no idea," she told Us Magazine. "Honestly, I picked that song because I needed something to go with my clothing line. I didn't write it and ... I didn't expect it to be popular, originally. It was just something that I wanted to do."

In the morning, I put my iPod on shuffle, then dress according to song.

Funny how the outfit always turns out black, paired with Converse...

Anyway, I picked that outfit because I needed something to go with my column.